Spanking Study Is Shocking to People Who Live in Caves

on February 13, 2012 at 3:22 PM

spanking doll For my husband and me, not spanking our child has been mostly a gut decision. It just feels like the right choice for us. We haven't been compiling research that proves spanking is bad for kids, although there seems to be a lot of that research out there lately.

The latest study shows a link between spanking and aggressive behavior in spanked children. It's not a make-or-break study for me, but it does make me feel more confident in my choice. And it also doesn't surprise me at all.

The new study looked at 20 years' worth of research -- none of which found positive, long-term effects from spanking. Instead, "everyday" type physical punishment is linked to increased levels of aggression in the kids. Co-author of the study, Joan Durrant, says, "I think it's important for parents to understand that although physical punishment might get a child to do something in the immediate situation, there are many side effects that can develop over the long term."

And those possible side effects? Kids who see parents respond to conflict by spanking may, in turn, use physical violence when they, too, are in conflict or are frustrated. Well ... yeah! Sounds totally logical to me. So if there are no positive long-term outcomes from spanking, only negative side effects, why would I ever consider doing it?

I was spanked as a child, and it always scared me. I don't recall ever having a moment of thoughtful reflection after getting spanked. Mostly I felt angry, threatened, and more than anything else, hurt. It just felt intrinsically wrong. It felt utterly at odds with every single other experience I ever had with my parents. So for as long as I can remember, I have been telling myself that I would never spank my own children.

I don't recall ever promising myself that I wouldn't put my child in time-out, or ground my child, or subject my child to a boring, squirm-inducing lecture, though. Authoritative parenting makes a lot of sense to me.

While a generation ago it seemed like almost everyone spanked, I don't think any of my friends spank their kids now (though supposedly 22 percent of parents in the U.S. say they do it). Around my community, anyway, it's considered kind of a freaky, out-of-control thing to do. And that gives me hope that maybe the next generation of kids will be more capable of dealing with life's frustrations in a non-aggressive way.

Do you spank your children? Why or why not?

Image via Ben Husmann/Flickr

About the author Adriana Velez

is a staff writer who dabbles in food, parenting, news, entertainment, molecular biology, and anything else that that pops into her head. She lives with her husband and elementary school-aged son in Brooklyn, land of urban farms and artisan everything.

Filed Under: discipline

Comments (22)

sunmoonandstar

on Feb 13, 2012 at 3:24 PM

Lol @ the title

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the4mutts

on Feb 13, 2012 at 3:36 PM

I think articles like this only serve to inflame the "mommy wars".
Fact: everyone is different. Not everyone will react the same way to the same thing.
People need to stop telling eachother the "right" way to live.
And while I didn't see that the author did it in this article,
We need to stop calling everything we don't agree with "abuse". It takes away from the ACTUAL abuse going on in the world.

i.heart.nerds

on Feb 13, 2012 at 3:47 PM

The report studies the last 20 year? Is it odd that under 20's are the most self absorbed, give me everything with no consequences or cost generation ever?
The children who are not spanked lash out, have tantrums and act poorly behaved as much if not more than a child who is spanked in a controlled and calm manner.
Honestly, I pity children now, their parents have no back bone and no control.

LittleManMama

on Feb 13, 2012 at 3:52 PM

Ugh. You realize 20 years ago adults said the same things about our generation? And we WERE spanked? Pretty every generation has been saying that for hundreds of years and I'm personally glad that society has evolved in that time frame.

Nonmember comment from Lacie

on Feb 13, 2012 at 3:55 PM

Most of this stuff is common sense. I grew up in a household where hitting was a first resort for discipline. It's just a lazy way to parent, and it's far to easy to escalate to abuse. I know a lot of you around here prefer your own definitions of abuse, rather than that of the english dictionary's but if you intentionally hurt your child it is abuse. For me it's not worth the risk. Besides, there are sooooo many ways to punish and TEACH a child that don't involve hitting.

Nonmember comment from chicab

on Feb 13, 2012 at 3:59 PM

I agree 100% with the4mutts. Without saying what I believe in, people need to stop trying to tell others how to parent our children. Everyone parents differently. Abuse shouldn't be tolerated and that's it. Mind YOUR children.

PamalaLauren

on Feb 13, 2012 at 4:00 PM

I'd like to know how you scientifically determine this? Plus did you actually read the study?

Nonmember comment from JaneDWill

on Feb 13, 2012 at 4:03 PM

I highly doubt the root of our youths ills are a lack of spankings. Each generation always bashes the next, forgetting that it is they who created the people they so often criticize. Are we such a primitive group of beings that we think hitting our kids will fix all our problems? I thought the caveman era was over.

littlemama3098

on Feb 13, 2012 at 4:05 PM

I spank my son on occasion, when necessary. I'm talking less than once a month and for things like outright disobedience and defiance. And NEVER NEVER NEVER out of anger. And for us, it works. Generally we discipline with time outs and taking away privileges but sometimes that just doesn't cut it. My boy is loving, kind hearted, and fearless and occasional spanking has not changed that.

Mama2MonkeyBoys

on Feb 13, 2012 at 4:10 PM

"While a generation ago it seemed like almost everyone spanked,"

So...given your logic, our entire generation is full of overly aggressive people who hit to resolve conflict.

Hm. Ok then.

Or it's possible that we learned not to be little shits or we'd get our butts popped. A lesson many of OUR generation's children could stand to learn, IMHO.

To each their own.