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Should rich parents "discipline" their kids differently than poor parents? A British MP seems to think so. Last summer the country was rocked with riots. Youths lit fires and looted in cities around Britain. Senior Labor MP and former education minister David Lammy thinks it was at least partly the result of the 2004 law forbidding spanking that "reddens the skin."
He said on a radio show, "Many of my constituents came up to me after the riots and blamed the Labour government, saying: 'You guys stopped us being able to smack our children'." Riiiiiggghhht, those parents just haven't been spanking their kids enough in the past 7 years. But it gets worse.
Lammy also thinks poor parents especially need to be able to spank their kids because they don't have many other resources for parenting. Middle-class parents can afford private schools (really?) where the discipline is tougher than in state schools (huh?) and can pay for hobbies and after-school activities.
So let me get this straight: If you can't afford a good school and soccer classes at least there's still spanking! Huh, that's funny. Suddenly I'm hearing screaming in my head -- specifically, from Pink Floyd's The Wall: "If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?!?" How did that tale of child abuse end again? Oh yes, BADLY. I know it's just a silly rock opera, but it's a vivid illustration of how brutality against children leaves scars, not well-disciplined adults.
Study after study shows that spanking doesn't work long-term. Are poorer parents under more stress? Do they have more working against them? Is their job harder because they have fewer resources? Absolutely! But that doesn't mean poor kids should be spanked more than rich kids. I think that insults all the low-income parents who are doing the best to parent thoughtfully and compassionately without spanking. Give them a little credit!
Do you think poor parents should discipline their kids differently than rich parents do?
Image via rachelkramerbussel.com/Flickr
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Comments (11)
i think parents should discipline with what works better for them and their children
Okay, first: I in NO WAY condone child abuse. In fact, I don't condone the mistreatment of anyone or even any pet. However, I was spanked as a child.
I was never beat, and spanking was used as a last-resort. Trust me, I was one stubborn child; I'm now a stubborn adult. Time-outs didn't work for me. Being sent to my room didn't work for me. Taking away television and other privelages didn't work for me. I would count dots on the wall, play with the toys in my room, or read. Spanking worked. Well, that is until I figured out that it only hurt for a minute.
What I'm getting at is that sometimes, with some children, spanking is a viable disciplinary measure. Again, just to clarify, I said spanking not beating. To those that say spanking leads to abuse, I'd like to remind you that time-outs could be considered abuse if they last too long (I'm thinking children forced to sit in one spot for hours). Other methods, if done with the wrong motivation or carried out improperly, could become abusive as well. It's all about what works and how it works.
If my children require spanking, that is, if I have exhausted other disciplinary measures and a certain misbehavior won't stop, I will spank my children. I believe that spanking, like other methods of discipline, is a personal choice.
I think the more educated a parent is, the less likely they are to spank their children. In my opinion, educated parents tend to spend more time reading studies that make it very clear that spanking is not effective. Poorer parents don't always have access to the internet, neither do they always have the cognitive abilities to comprehend such research. (I'm speaking in general terms, mind you).
^^Well said, Fallaya, completely agree!
^^I am a very educated individual. I have a Master's degree, and I have read MANY studies about children and discipline. And I still give my kids a swat on the butt when other disciplinary tactics have not succeeded.
I think the important thing is that you ACTUALLY DISCIPLINE your kids. Most of the parents I see who DON'T spank, are also not doing ANYTHING to discipline. Those are the parents who will watch while their child throws a screaming tantrum on the floor of a grocery store, and just say "No, sweetheart, please stop" 532348479 times.
If spanking doesn't work for you, fine. Don't do it. But for the love of God, do SOMETHING.
I think spanking is barbaric and teaches the wrong message. You're basically trying to correct bad behavior with more bad behavior. What do you do if your child suddenly starts hitting other children? Spank them again? In which case, you're also a hypocrite. You're punishing your child for the same behavior you perform. There is no reason to spank. There are far less violent and humiliating ways to discipline a child. Seriously? Anyway, this guy's stance is just ridiculous. Kids are kids, and your discipline (not spanking) should vary depending on the child, not your socioeconomic status. There will be picture perfect children from poor families and rich kids who take their parents' yacht for a joyride on a regular basis. Which ones needs the discipline?
I don't think anyone should discipline based on their level of wealth. While at the same time I do spank and it works wonders. It's not my go-to, mind you, but when all else fails it's what she gets. Fallaya, I am a fairly educated person, currently in college and I do read studies on occasion. That doesn't mean I believe everything I read. Studies are only as good as the person doing them and when they are funded by a certain interest group, I have to expect the results will be somewhat biased. I make my own choices based on my own life experience and not what some paid off researcher says.