It's Your Fault My Kid Is Sick

by Michele Zipp January 17, 2012 at 11:26 AM

kid sneezing There are things that are absolutely dreadful in life. But there is one thing that is worse than getting a bad haircut or a botched at-home Brazilian bikini wax or even your thumb falling off because you change channels with the remote too much. And that thing is when your kid gets sick. Nothing gets done. Your kid is miserable and it's so sad to see. And everything you own has snot on it. You become helpless -- nothing you can do can help your adorable little one from turning into a pile of frowny face mush.

So as mothers we do what we have to do and we start pointing fingers. This is somebody's fault and you start counting back three days to when they were possibly exposed to this yuck and blame Grandma for not covering her mouth when she coughed, the kid at the playground who shared her granola bar, or your friend's kid who liked to pick boogers and feed them to your child. We blame, blame, blame.

Well, at least I do and I've got to stop.

Blaming somehow makes it all easier to deal with. Sort of. You can't be mad at your kid for being sick, so you have to be annoyed at someone. In fact, it was probably your husband's fault for not washing his hands after taking public transportation and then feeding your kid raisins. How dare he?!?! What was he thinking?!?! Though blaming your husband only causes unrest in the house and there already is a sick child, you don't need an angry husband on top of that. And I realize that sadly we can't live in little healthy bubbles where only the "good germs" reach our kids and the bad ones stay in the sewer with the rats where they belong.

Blaming also creates this terrible stereotype. If, say, I blame the kid down the block who we have playdates with, then the next time we are supposed to have a playdate, I will worry he has a case of the sick and spread his germy germs all over. It's like Scarlet Lettering a little cutie for no good reason -- because kids get sick. We (I) have to accept that. Or else I will never have another playdate again. Or any friends for that matter.

I think I picked up this sick blame game from a sitter. Yep. That's it. Once when my daughter was sick, the sitter said with this all-knowing nod, "Oh where were you three days ago? Oh with the neighbor's kid? I bet he was sick and that's where she picked it up." Yeah! I enthusiastically replied as if finding patient zero was pivotal to my kid's recovery of a runny nose and all-around irritable-ness. So I blame her for me blaming others for any time my son or daughter comes down with something.

There I go again, blaming. If I blame that sitter for making me blame others for my kid being sick, then I have to blame my job for the sitter. Then I have to blame where I live and how expensive it is for having to have the job. And then I guess I blame my husband for not wanting to move sooner because I want to live in a more affordable area. Blame blame blame. Shame shame shame on me! Sigh. I have to stop the blame cycle. I know it's not your fault my kid is sick (anymore). But I have to say, if blaming anyone would make my kid instantly NOT sick, then I'm pointing all 10 of my fingers.

Do you do this too? Please say you do!

Image via quinnums/Flickr

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Filed Under: sick days, toddler health

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Michele Zipp

loves vintage and will defend skinny jeans to the death though she is highly superstitious and "death" is probably a bad word choice. She has a touch of the hoarding disease and enjoys sleuthing, the worst reality shows, and wearing high heels, even at the playground. She's an AP mom of twins, slightly crunchy but with a pedicure.

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Comments 17

Melissa042807

January 17, 2012 at 11:34 AM

We can take all the precautions in the world, but at the end of the day, germs are sneaky little goobers and we can't keep them away completely. Do I wish the entire general public took as many precautions as I did? Sure. But I can't control them. The only person I can control is myself. And sometimes we're gonna get sick anyway.

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EquestrianMom

January 17, 2012 at 11:35 AM

Lol! I don't, mainly cause once my kid is sick, the why of it really doesn't matter. That said, the first words out of my ex's and his familys mouth when I let them know our son is sick is "where'd he get it?" like it matters! Kids get sick, I don't know if he got sick from his playdate, the park the playdate was at, from his chronicly sniffly cousin, or from a guest at my house. Again, doesn't matter.

Another thing? I already know if my son gets sick, the adults in the house will follow shortly. No amount of handwashing, sanatizing, ect, covers the fact that my son needs to be held while he caughs, sneezes, snots, drools while sleeping and if we are really unlucky, barfs on me, cause it makes him feel better. Yeah, we all get sick when he does!

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Nonmember comment from Tara

January 17, 2012 at 11:58 AM

I'm pointing a finger right now! My 4 year old has been sick since Sat- & I was blaming the kid who threw up in her class thurs until i realized its not his fault- its his parents for sending him in! Keep your kids home when they are sick! Tara @ secretsofamomaholic

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Nonmember comment from Christie

January 17, 2012 at 12:14 PM

OMG....so funny! I am not a blamer....but my FIL is such a blamer....everytime he is around someone with a cold/stomach flu/hurt elbow....the next day he is suffering from the same exact symptoms and calling everyone we know to tell that he's sick and who he caught it from....I thought it was just him!

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Nonmember comment from DontHackOnMyKid

January 17, 2012 at 12:17 PM

My baby just caught RSV from his cousin. How do I know this? She is the only one he was around that was walking around my parent's house, hacking and coughing everywhere, who also happens to have an upper respitory and ear infection.

Coincidence? I think not...

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TorranceMom

January 17, 2012 at 12:34 PM

I'm a blamer. If I know who the culprit is, I point him/her out and if I don't, I try to find out. My 3+ year old, 10 month old, my husband and I are all miserable right now with Croup. Long days, sleepless nights, fevers, runny noses and that horrible cough . . . you bet your butt I want to know who's responsible. Parents with sick kids need to keep them at home so they don't infect the rest of us with the plague!

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PonyChaser

January 17, 2012 at 1:19 PM

OR, you could consider it a blessing that is going to make your kid's immune system just a little bit stronger. Kids get sick. It's a fact of life.

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we2angels

January 17, 2012 at 1:54 PM

The high time for contagious with any illness is just before one gets sick.so, yeah it's someone's fault, the one that wasn't quite sick yet.

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Mama2MonkeyBoys

January 17, 2012 at 3:12 PM

I do it, but it's totally your fault.

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Nonmember comment from BeResponsible

January 17, 2012 at 4:57 PM

If your kids are sick keep them home!!!! PERIOD. End of story!!!! It is beyond selfish, immature, and irresponsible to give the old "kids get sick" line! Stay home! I don't care if you didn't want to miss the party, "had" to go shopping, "needed" to get out of the house for a playdate, etc. What your sick child needs is rest. You have no right to willingly expose my kids to your sick child's germs! NONE! I'll worry about my own kids' immune systems, thank you. And if any of the "doctors" on here who say it'll build a healthier kid knew anything at all, they'd know that a child's thymus is busy at work for the first 5 years or so of life making the cells largely responsible for immunity. Getting one cold virus will only protect a kid to a small degree since there are thousands of different viruses. So stop justifying your selfish and rude behavior, or maybe next time I'm sick I'll come puke in your living room and tell you that I'm just helping you build your immune system! (See how stupid that sounds!?)

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