Potty Training Hell Means My Kid May Just Go to College in Diapers

Being a Mom 20

When I got pregnant with my second son in 2006, I had a sneaking suspicion that he was going to be a handful. I swear on a stack of bibles that the kid never slept -- even in the womb. So it was no surprise when I popped him out and he exerted his will on the world: Only Mom would do and, well, sleeping is for suckers.

It was with great glee that I finally got the child to sleep through the night when he was one. It was good, because I was thisclose to losing my mind (I only appear to be joking about that) and landing in the psych hospital. Chronic sleep deprivation is a bitch.

So it's really no surprise that my kid remains, at 4 years old, one of the most stubborn, willful people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting.

It's going to be something that treats him well, later in life, but for now, I'm about three steps from pulling my hair out and running away to Detroit.


Two dreaded words: Potty Training.

I'd gone to something we called "poop class" a couple of years prior -- a class about potty training put on by Early Intervention. Autistic kids often have issues with toilet training, so my husband and I had gone for our older son, who, as it turns out, had no issues with using the toilet.

No, those issues are all reserved for my middle child: Alex, or as I like to call him, The Stubbornest Baby on the Block. At this point in my life, I'm pretty sure his younger sister is going to be finished with diapers before he is. In fact, I'm not entirely certain he'll EVER potty train. He might be one of those kids that ends up going to college in diapers.

You think I'm joking.

Therein lies the crux of potty training. I can't physically MAKE him do it, considering I'm not the one in charge of his bodily fluids. And as much as I'd like to pretend I'm in any sort of control of this stuff, I'm not.

I've tried bribing him. I've tried talking to him. I've tried to make it a competition between siblings. I've promised trips to Chuck E. Cheese's (the seventh circle of parenting hell). I've bargained. I've lectured. I've promised. And I got nothing.

So until he decides he's ready, I'm done with the whole thing. If he wants to buy adult diapers and wear 'em off to college, I'll buy him a tub of Diaper Cream and explain to his roommate how to change him.

Now let's celebrate my new-found freedom with some Ativan!


potty training


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nonmember avatar Herb

Don't sweat the small stuff! Think positive, when your son goes off to college he could be the one who gains the most knowledge. He won't have to leave the lecture just to go to the bathroom. He wears his "porta pot". This valuable time spent in class can easily out weigh the cost of diapers.

jessi... jessicasmom1

LOL .. I have a DD so no luck with the boys .. potty training was easy ! 

odessie odessie

oh I can't wait....my ds is 15 months old but since i can remember I let him hang out in the bathroom with me and tell him "mommy going poopoo, or mommy going peepee..." he seems to be actually understanding what is going on now. I tell him "baby went poopoo or baby went peepee" when I change him, I hope my word association is working.

nonmember avatar mom2012

Know only too well what life is like with a bowel withholder...every minute of every day revolves around the "potty". FINALLY, a book is available on Amazon.com..."I Can't, I Won't, No Way!" A Book for Children Who Refuse to Poop. Written entirely from a child's perspective, addresses this widespread but, seldom discussed challenge. Might not solve the problem...will definitely help!

AvonS... AvonSuperMommy

I used this trick potty training my 1 year old daughter. When our last box of diapers ran out I refused to buy any more. Just like that, when DH came and asked if we had any more I thought okay here we go, potty training time!

It was a bit of a shock, on my daughter and the family. But there was no other choice. She started off very well, going #1 but not #2. Other days it would be backwards. She spent a lot of time naked and had more accidents then I can count. But now two weeks later she is completely potty trained!

Becca Bruno

Ok, I really need some help/advice, reassurance,something. My son is going to be 4 next month and is still in pull-ups to poop and at night because wait for it.... he is also drinking a bottle at night. Yes, you may think I am a horrible mother but I have honestly been trying my best everyday for almost 2 years now. Last year I made the decision to put him in underpants. I made him wear them during the day to pee and it worked out not really a problem. But when it comes time to poop forget it, he doesn't want nothing to do with it. I tried potty chairs, potty rings, rewards, I explained he will never go to school and many other speeches. Today has been horrible. He has diarrhea  and has a huge rash it was even bleeding the other day. I became so frustrated with changing him every 10 min. I actually forced him to sit on the potty. He screamed and cried and attempted to hit me. Then after that he hugged me and said mommy please. He got me and I caved. Please read on..... 

Becca Bruno

I did this twice today with the same result. I also forgot to mention another problem I am having. Well I've begun to realize the more I push Ty, the worst things get. What he does is he will hold his poop and won't even go in diapers. I think he begins to think it is bad and won't let himself make a bowel movement. Which just creates an even bigger problem. I am at a lost and I don't think I will ever win this battle. I am tired and am feeling like a complete failure. I know it is my fault and now he is suffering. We both are suffering. And it's not his fault he is being punished now and I don't know what to do. A few months back I finally felt I made a break through. He finally told me he was afraid of the potty. He thinks or at least that was what the problem was at that time then, that there were bugs or snakes going to come out and get him. So of course I reassured him that nothing like that would happen.

Please read on.................

Becca Bruno


And I told him we all use the potty and nothing like that ever happened to us. I went on to tell him that there was a magic cleaner that when used nothing bad would ever come out to get him. He seemed excited yet would still not go. He pees standing up and even every once in a while he will sit down to pee. I really need help and fast today was truly the worst day ever. With his rash being so bad he wouldn't let me wipe him with anything and because of the diarrhea he was going every 10 min. Then he was so scared of being changed he would sit in it and not tell me. Then I would have to chase him down and force and I mean really force him to sit still to change him. I took off the diapers because I think they were just making it worse and instead of using the potty he would just go in his pants and not even tell me. Please if someone is reading this I could really use some help. I am at that point where I want to take him to a psychologist to see if there is something wrong with him. This is truly a nightmare and I need to wake up. Nothing has been easy with Ty from the pregnancy until now and I need to now that I am not just a failure. Please help, you can email me at paperxpressions@gmail.com Thanks for listening.




nonmember avatar Theresa

We've been potty training our 27 month old twins, and there are days when I contemplate sending them to day care to let someone else train them because I'm tired of cleaning poop and pee.
Then there are the days when I forget we're potty training because we're having so much fun.

nonmember avatar Tiffini

This makes me feel so much better. My little one is 3 and she's crying and I'm crying and I just want to crawl in a hole. My son was so simple, and this? This is hell.

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