When I got pregnant with my second son in 2006, I had a sneaking suspicion that he was going to be a handful. I swear on a stack of bibles that the kid never slept -- even in the womb. So it was no surprise when I popped him out and he exerted his will on the world: Only Mom would do and, well, sleeping is for suckers.
It was with great glee that I finally got the child to sleep through the night when he was one. It was good, because I was thisclose to losing my mind (I only appear to be joking about that) and landing in the psych hospital. Chronic sleep deprivation is a bitch.
So it's really no surprise that my kid remains, at 4 years old, one of the most stubborn, willful people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting.
It's going to be something that treats him well, later in life, but for now, I'm about three steps from pulling my hair out and running away to Detroit.
Why?
Two dreaded words: Potty Training.
I'd gone to something we called "poop class" a couple of years prior -- a class about potty training put on by Early Intervention. Autistic kids often have issues with toilet training, so my husband and I had gone for our older son, who, as it turns out, had no issues with using the toilet.
No, those issues are all reserved for my middle child: Alex, or as I like to call him, The Stubbornest Baby on the Block. At this point in my life, I'm pretty sure his younger sister is going to be finished with diapers before he is. In fact, I'm not entirely certain he'll EVER potty train. He might be one of those kids that ends up going to college in diapers.
You think I'm joking.
Therein lies the crux of potty training. I can't physically MAKE him do it, considering I'm not the one in charge of his bodily fluids. And as much as I'd like to pretend I'm in any sort of control of this stuff, I'm not.
I've tried bribing him. I've tried talking to him. I've tried to make it a competition between siblings. I've promised trips to Chuck E. Cheese's (the seventh circle of parenting hell). I've bargained. I've lectured. I've promised. And I got nothing.
So until he decides he's ready, I'm done with the whole thing. If he wants to buy adult diapers and wear 'em off to college, I'll buy him a tub of Diaper Cream and explain to his roommate how to change him.
Now let's celebrate my new-found freedom with some Ativan!
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Comments 20
Sounds like you've got a power struggle on your hands. At four years old, he's old enough to take care of things himself. Tell him he no longer wears diapers (or pull-ups). make sure he knows where his clean underwear and clothes are and how to clean himself up, and then stay out of it. He'll get it done when he's responsible and no longer using it as a power tool.
My son is 4 as well, and we had a hell of a time potty training him. No matter what we did...incentives,punishments, etc...nothing worked. He would usually get up and use the potty, but the pooping was always an issue. I don't know what finally clicked, but he suddenly decided that when he gets that feeling, he needs to get up and use the potty instead of pooping in his pants.
I am pregnant with our second child now, and I have noticed in the past couple of months he has been regressing with the pooping issue. He did so well for months, and now he is having pooping accidents again and it is so frustrating! I tell him he is going to be a big brother and needs to poop on the toilet so his little brother knows what to do...that he doesn't want to have to wear diapers like the baby...
I am crossing my fingers and hoping he gets with the program again soon.
LOL!!!!! I only laugh because I am almost in the semi-same boat as you! My son turned 3 in October and FIGHTS back when we tried to use the potty.... today he hid in a corner, and I counted from 5 to 1.... by 1 he had come into the bathroom and I put him on the potty to do #2! I still am NO WHERE near ready for undies, but it's progress!!!
My son is 4 and has autism and I'm having the hardest time with potty training! He will go all on his own naked... but don't you dare put underwear on him! He will pee in his underwear then get mad at me, like it's my fault he decided to pee in his underwear! I'm glad they make adult sized diapers for later on, but I really don't want to pay money for diapers for that long!!! Maybe I should just join a nudist colony, then it won't be a problem in he runs around naked all the time :)
My son is like this but only at nap time. He waits until it is nap time and then he poops in his pullup. He just refuses to poop on the potty. Like you I have tried everything. THey can do it they just don't want to.
Yeah, I was lucky, my son was happy to start using the potty (I never made a big deal out of it either, he wanted to try on his own cause I never let him :P) but my freinds and little sister were different stories! My little sister was still in diapers at 4 and a half, I finallly told her they didn't have diapers in her size, so she decided she'd have to use the potty! And my friends used similar tricks, one told her son they ran out of diapers at the store, so he'd have to use the potty til they got more in next wekk. The store never got more. Another freind just "ran out" of diapers, switched to undies, and let two days of mess occur, kid was so ashamed he'd ruined his favorite undies, he used the potty!
But I think the best was a freind who used your current method (I don't care, stay in your diaper then!) and once there was no argument about it, the kid got curious (when I flush where does it go? Can I pee standing up like daddy?) and used the potty. Oh, and my son loved having "targets" to pee at when he was smaller, we floated cheerios in the potty so he could pee on them! LOL! MAde aiming for in the toilet fun :P