Are Birth Order Traits Accurate?

on December 28, 2011 at 9:33 PM

I'm the last-born in my family, which means that I should be a strong-willed, persistent story-teller who loves to make people laugh. Okay, fair enough. That sounds a lot like me. Until we get into the notion that I should be affectionate, which I'm not. Hrms.

Plus, according to some, I could also be considered an only child as my older brother is waaaay older than me. So really, where does that leave me? And what about my three kids? Is there anything to that birth order stuff?

My eldest is a first-born, joining the ranks of overachieving first-borns (almost all of the US Presidents were first-borns) everywhere. However, according to the research, the personality traits he's supposed to exhibit -- determination, organization, being a born leader -- don't fit. At all. They all resemble my middle child.

My middle son -- who is determined, organized, and the leader of my family -- is supposed to, according to the research, be a great negotiator who "rolls with it." Fact is, he's as rigid as a board. He's also the class clown of the house, which is not listed as one of his "traits." And negotiating? Forget about it.

My daughter, my youngest, resembles me in character -- irritatingly determined, persistent, and strong-willed. All great traits and a mixture of the three birth order types. She's the negotiator of the family -- the girl could sell snow to an Eskimo and knows it.

So what does that mean? Should I hold my breath for my eldest to be a US President or my youngest to become a slap-stick comedian?

Probably not.

Turns out that decades of research into birth order traits is inherently flawed because the research didn't take into account one extremely important detail: family size. Family size affects the amount of attention and resources each child receives -- a last-born in a family of two (like me) is bound to receive a whole lot more parental attention, time, and resources than someone who is a last-born of five.

So I'm going to forget about birth order traits. To me, they seem like horoscopes -- general enough to fit most, not exactly accurate.

What do YOU think about birth order? Do those personality traits fit you or your children?

Image via vastateparksstaff/Flickr

Filed Under: siblings

Comments (12)

butterflymkm

on Dec 28, 2011 at 9:44 PM

I am the youngest of three although, like you, my brother and sister are way older than me (over a decade older). We do fit a lot of this though. My sister (the oldest) is headstrong and and strong willed though she isn't affectionate at all. My brother is very much the peacemaker and I am very much the sensitive one, and strong willed as well. I agree that these traits aren't one size fits all.

Report this comment

Seniahmom

on Dec 28, 2011 at 9:57 PM

I'm the oldest and exhibit a lot of oldest child traits. But, as my grandmother says, there is no generation gap in our family. I'm very close in age to my aunts and uncles and basically grew up with them so exhibit many middle child traits as well.

JenniferDawyn

on Dec 29, 2011 at 8:49 AM

Huh. I was just talking to my cousin about this the other day. We both agreed that, in general, the first borns are more laid-back than their younger sibling. (We never did discuss third children.)

pjbarbie

on Dec 29, 2011 at 9:39 AM

In my family this is dead-on. I am the youngest but the age difference between me and my next sibling is 5 years which then constitutes a second birth order - so I am a "first born baby". A mix of baby-of-the-family and first born traits. I did a lot of 'research' on this a few years back to find out why my sister is the way she is. Helped me 'understand' her a bit better.

on Dec 29, 2011 at 9:42 AM

Also, I don't think this is completely defined in children as it is in adults. Children are still developing their personalities where adults have pretty much determined what kind of person they are [going to be]

poshkat

on Dec 29, 2011 at 10:02 AM

i am a middle child and i fit the middle child thing to a T.

PoeDunkMae

on Dec 29, 2011 at 10:05 AM

I'm the oldest, there are 10 and a half years difference between my sister and I so we just each said we were an only child LOL But we neither one fit the single child notion or older/younger birth order thing either. I think it's all a load of bologna. Just let them be themselves and not worry about birth order and personality that goes with it. All kids are different.

americanpeso

on Dec 29, 2011 at 10:21 AM

I am a second born in a family of four kids. I exhibit oldest child traits, and I think I have the reasoning figured out. My older sister is mentally handicapped, and so I was always the protector and most relied on. Even though I was raised as the baby of the family, as my little brother is 14 years younger than me. Birth order is all screwed up in my family.

Nonmember comment from AI

on Dec 29, 2011 at 12:51 PM

Does not hold for my older sister and me. I have all the traits of a first-born, but am the youngest of two sisters. My mom says that the minute I was born, my sister decided she was the baby. I think she got what she wanted. I don't think something as simple as birth order can determine anything really.

bozobean

on Dec 29, 2011 at 1:15 PM

Statistics and studies can kiss my ass! They're just another way to stereotype people, like horoscope signs. Why do people have to be such idiots and come up with this stuff and believe it. Everyone's an individual, and until you get to know their individual personality, you're just making an opinionated ass of yourself by prejudging them with stereotypes.