j.lo marc anthonySeems like the (divorce) honeymoon is over for Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony. By all accounts, the couple's splitting-up process has been fairly civilized until now -- at least they were able to agree on a custody arrangement for 3-year-old twins Max and Emme without any horrific legal battles (that we know about, anyway). Lopez was awarded primary custody.

But now that Lopez is -- gasp! -- acting like a single woman -- gasp again! -- in front of her children, Anthony is reportedly rethinking the custody agreement. He allegedly flipped his lid after seeing pics of Lopez and her new boytoy boyfriend, 24-year-old Casper Smart, on vacation in Hawaii with the kids. The implication, of course, is that Lopez is a bad mother for exposing her kids to the new guy.

Oh yeah, Marc Anthony? As a divorced mother-of-two, I have a problem with that. (And there are a lot of moms like me out there, so look out!)

Unfortunately, most single moms get the "you're selfish for dating" accusation thrown at us at some point. Always disguised as "concern" over the "welfare of the children," it's really an attack on a woman's maternal instincts: We're putting our kids at risk by letting some stranger into their lives (this also suggests that we have such terrible judgment, we could be unwittingly dating a serial killer); we're thinking of our own needs before those of our children; we're admitting to being mothers AND sexual beings (a concept our society still isn't comfortable with, based on our tendency to either ignore it or make it into a fetish). We're daring to be ... happy?

What really makes me mad is that none of this has anything to do with whether or not Lopez is a good mother. This is all about Marc Anthony being a jealous control freak and using his children as leverage to get what he wants: A lonely ex-wife who never moves on.

He's never going to get that. What he will get is an ex-wife who resents his mean meddling and two kids who end up feeling caught in the middle.

Do you think Marc Anthony is picking a custody fight because he's jealous?

 

Image via Juan Beltran/Flickr