Ah toddlers and their crazy, crazy ways. How do you keep them from bodily harm without losing your sanity? I just came across this handy list of suggestions for surviving the holidays with a toddler by pediatrician and author Harvey Karp. Apparently the key to raising a toddler is to play Jedi mind tricks on them.
Is that ever okay? Isn't that kind of evil and manipulative? Hell no! The "direct" approach to parenting assumes your toddler is a rational person. But toddlers are totally IRRATIONAL. They're wack-o little sociopaths. I mean that in the nicest way possible, of course. I'm just saying, these parenting tactics can save you approximately three years of bitter frustration and high blood pressure. Read on for a few examples.
So what do you do if your child starts screaming and demanding candy at the grocery store? Some would say just ignore your child and continue shopping. Others say you should march right out of the store and let them scream in the car until it's over. But Dr. Karp recommends repeating the toddler's words back to them, using the same exact language.
"WANT! CANDY! NOW! WANT IT!" The idea is that you're showing your toddler you understand what they're trying to tell you. And once you nail that, the kid will calm down and you can distract them into forgetting all about the candy. Whoa, it never occurred to me to try that, but it's so crazy, it just might work! If you can get over the embarrassment of talking toddlerese in public.
What about when you're in a battle of wills, trying to get your toddler to do something they don't want to do? Make 'em laugh. Dr. Karp says to clown around, doing what you want the toddler to do, but in the wrong way. The kid laughs, and then says, "No, like this!" Ha. Fooled again, little tyke. Another point for Team Mom.
Or there's the one where you "let" your toddler overhear you gossiping about them. "Did you see Owen sharing his toys with Maya? Wow, I was so impressed! I hope he remembers to take turns when his cousins come over!" you say to the nearest stuffed animal. Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge. Say no more. Supposedly this indirectly encourages good behavior without making your kid feel like they're being told what to do. Will it work? I don't know -- that one I'm a little skeptical of, but it's worth trying. May the force be with you, toddler parents.
Do you think it's okay to play mind tricks on your toddler, or do you prefer a more direct approach?
Image via miguelb/Flickr
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Comments (14)
I think it's just fine.
I have totally done all of the above. Because it's true, toddlers are NOT rational creatures! They haven't figured out how to manage their feelings yet. All they know is they feel the way they feel. And we as parents just gotta do what we gotta do to get everyone through those moments intact!
Totally do all of the above! Sometimes when a toddler is whining or thowing a fit, mimicking them and allowing them to see how silly they look makes them stop. I swear my 3yo has a constant whine twinge in her voice. When she whines something to me, I whine it right back to her and she realizes that she sounds silly and asks nicely for it. When she throws a fit and cries over something small, I will stomp my feet, flail my arms and "cry" too. When she looks at me like IM crazy, I ask her if I look silly, "yes' well, thats how you look too. She gets the point.
My most recent thing to do when she cries over nothing, I will tell her "cry about it." "hey, just cry about it' and she always says, NO! and stops the behavior. TRICK YOUR TODDLERS WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!!! trick them, bribe them, threaten them! duh! lol.do it while its still easy and you can get away with it! lol.
Yup. I think they are great. It totally works. Ive been known to do all of the above trips. Especially the one where you make an unwilling child do what you want.
Toddlers do not listen to reason, so all the things have been done at our house.
I convinced mine that Mommy's car WILL NOT GO if his seat belt wasn't fastened. No more complaints. No more trying to unbuckle it, either. :)
I am working the Santa tactic right now. My daughter is terrified that I will text Santa to report her bad behavior. All I have to do is say, "Go get my phone" and her tune changes INSTANTLY! I am all for the mind-trickery, bribing, threatening... all weapons in MY arsenal! =)
Sure thing!