Male Bloggers Need to Shut Up About Mommy Bloggers


michele zippThere is something dashingly handsome young men with moustaches who reside in New York City need to know. They first need to brace themselves, however, because it may make their minds explode even more than the wait for the new Hot Chip album. Ready? There are moms out there just like you. You hear that Gawker? Specifically writer Brian Moylan, who wrote, "Mommy Bloggers Need to Shut Up About This Dirty Gay Billboard." Great headline by the way.

I happen to love me some Gawker snark (though I hear Moylan doesn't like that word). I also happen to find that gay billboard really sexy, which is what fired up this whole debate. One mommy blogger, Kelly Cole, complained that the ad was too provocative and shouldn't be on display near her kid's school.

I've personally debated this whole exposing my kids to porn-ish images many times. But that's because I have a porn-tastic past.

I was the Editor-in-Chief of Playgirl magazine before I was a mommy blogger. I've seen it all and been on photoshoots and video shoots for gay, straight, and self-pleasing sex scenes. If the Internet doesn't explode by the time my kids are old enough to use a computer, they will know all about this even if I didn't plan on telling them about it. I have dozens of Playgirl magazines on my bookshelf (out of kids' sight and reach), and I plan on teaching my son and daughter that sex between two people (of consenting age) is natural.

This ad doesn't bother me. There's one just like it on a phone booth near my house that I often pass with my double stroller. I don't avoid it. If my 2-year-old twins asked me about it, I'd probably note how those two must work out a lot. But I respect Cole's feelings on her not wanting her 9-year-old son to be exposed to it. She shouldn't be told to shut up about it nor dismissed because her opinion is different than mine or Moylan's. She shouldn't be dismissed because she is a mommy blogger.

Shut up is a strong phrase. One I don't plan on teaching my kids to say. I've only stooped to Moylan's level and used it in my headline for the same reason he did -- shock value. And because this is a "mommy war" I think all moms are on the same side of for once.

I don't know Cole. We mommy bloggers aren't part of a cult where we conspire to suck the cool out of everything and paint the world with flowery pastel smiley faces (though I do love everything Murakami). Which is why I take issue with Moylan -- he lumps us all together as if the mommy bloggers of the world are going to Occupy Gay Billboard in an effort to shield our children's eyes from the sight of two hunks about to kiss.

Some of us, like me, are more like him -- socially liberal, perhaps more open about certain things. But we don't all resort to offend an entire group of people. I'm sure he's not tolerant of gay bashing; neither am I. But I am also not tolerant of mommy blogger bashing.

Are you more offended by the billboard or the fact that a male blogger is bashing mommy bloggers?


Image by Michele Zipp

a mom's life


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Aurastar Aurastar

Look guys, I understand that if you're not on my little corner on the Internet, it's hard being trolled. But are you surprised that some sites target you? If one person in a community does something, you're automatically labeled as if everyone is like that. The truth is, some mommy bloggers are horribad. Some post their opinions and then when someone disagrees, they insult the other person and make a huge deal of it. That's some very attractive troll bait right there! The thing to do is ignore all the negatives and keep doing what you want.

msusie msusie

I have no probelm with the blogger defending mommy bloggers, but it is disturbing to find out that an editor for Cafe Mom is an advocate of pornagraphy. Playgirl mags on her bookshelf, and young children around? Porn degrades all involved, and forms unrealistic views of sexuality, and has ruined countless lives and relationships. 

Cafe... Cafe MicheleZ

The bookshelf is in my office and too high for the kids to reach.

Jennifer Elise Schaperow-Hanlon

Great article!    I grew up with art, plenty of it nude all around and because of that I don't have negative issues with sexuality. I plan on doing the exact same for my children.   I do have have Major issues with people categorizing an entire group of people as though they are one person and I don't like the word shut up either.  It's childish to lash out rather than say, you have your beliefs, I have mine.  or maybe try to enlighten one another. 

brand... brandspanknnew

msusie, I must agree with Courtney. You do seem a tad immature. These days it is EVERYWHERE. Whether it is on your bookshelf or not, it's on your computers. If it is on your computers, whether you 'allow' it or not, it might as well be sitting open on your coffee table with the centerfold pulled out. Come on, get a grip of todays day and age. Yes it's not appropriate to just show it to children, but no matter what you try to do to keep them from it, they will see it one way or another at some point in time, probably before you are ready for them to.

nonmember avatar CB

I do feel the need to point out, in msusie's defense, that she is correct in pointing out that pornography HAS ruined relationships for many many people. It has also become an addiction for many people and made their lives very difficult. So I would not say that she sounds immature by pointing that out. It's more mature to acknowledge that it DOES happen than it is to pretend that as long as you're an adult porn won't harm you.

All that said, I am not offended by either the billboard or the mommy blogger bashing. I find both inconsiderate and inappropriate, but to say I'm offended is a stretch. I don't care enough to be full on offended. :)

Tracey Plummer

msusie - if you have such a problem with pornography, perhaps you should learn to spell it....just saying.

nonmember avatar Valerie

As much as we try to shelter our children from these (in our opinion) terrible/inappropriate/degrading billboards, magazines and whatever else, there really is very little we can do to prevent them from discovering this openly sexual society that we live in.
Unless we homeschool our kids,keep them at home at all time, don't let them watch cable, don't let them on the internet without us hovering over their shoulder the entire time, pretty much don't let them experience the modern life. They will grow up unprepared for the real world and be eaten alive once they get out. I personally know of a family who sheltered their kids all the way through high school. They were only allowed to watch disney, no slumber parties, and we were only allowed to play at their house,(Plenty more rules I won't go into) and OMG those kids have issues.
We need to adapt to the modern age and figure out the best way to handle these situations instead of trying to hide from the most popular topic on the streets... SEX.

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