I've got three kids. Three kids means, among other things, like getting looks at the store for having a ton of kids, that Halloween in my house is always a big ass deal. Which is good, because I love it. In fact, I love the holidays. All of them. Please, though, let's keep this between us because, well, it would ruin my street cred if anyone found out.
But since we're keeping secrets here, I figure I can finally let it all out. Unleash the beast. And tell you the only thing I genuinely hate about Halloween.
You're probably nodding along with me, figuring it's the ridiculous way kids can't seem to choose a costume and stick with it. Or the incredible amount of candy you always buy JUST IN CASE that goes straight into your own mouth after you've had a single trick-or-treater. Or perhaps it's the teenagers (damn kids!) that go out after the little kids have gone to bed, begging for candy in jeans and a t-shirt. Or maybe you really, really hate all of the candy you accumulate after three kids dump their candy stash together because all of those wee Kit-Kat bars aren't helping your diet at all.
But those aren't the things I hate about Halloween. No. Bring on the candy. The teenagers without costumes. Hell, bring on the one single piece of candy corn someone always (unsanitarily) passes out.
I hate that my kids have no sense of time.
Yeah, I know, I should probably do a better job of parenting so that my 2-year-old somehow understands time. You're right. While I'm at it, I should probably teach her to drive because, obviously, she's old enough.
However, I've tried to teach it to all three of them and still, the toddler always seems baffled. Like, wait, Mom, it was okay to go door-to-door dressed as a wee rocket ship yesterday, begging for candy, but today it's back to pretending our neighbors don't exist?
I kinda see her point, now that I've gotten it all down on (virtual) paper. It really DOESN'T make any sense.
For the past two days, though, it's been pretty pitiful and slightly annoying to explain to her that, no, honey, we cannot put our costumes back on and go tricker-treating (her term). That we cannot, in fact, go beg from our neighbors every. single. day because we'd eventually get the cops called on us (probably).
No matter what I do, though, she just doesn't seem to get it. Which means that I'm either doing a terrible job of explaining it (likely) or she's stubborn enough that she's going to wear me down until I agree to allow her to tricker-treat again (more likely).
Until something gives, though, I'm just going to allow the kids to tricker treat at my own door. Which is bad for my ears because my doorbell is painful to listen to, but better on my heart. Besides, I'm just giving them back their own candy. They're just too young to realize what a raw deal I'm giving them.
When they do, though, I'm sure I'll never hear the end of it. Which is okay, because by that point, I'll have broken down and bought some really nice ear plugs.
Did Halloween throw your family for a loop too?