Pre-school is starting, you or your spouse got laid off, or perhaps you just really don't like the cut of your nanny's gib. No matter what, there will come a time when you no longer need your nanny's (or daycare, or baby-sitter's) services. Whether you think you'll see her around the neighborhood, or you just know you might need her again someday, it's a great idea to leave on pleasant terms. Make the transition a good one, for everyone involved by using one of these parent-tested methods.
The Clean Break
Say you never really bonded with your child's caregiver. While this is a shame, not everyone has a special relationship. If you're really never going to want or need to be involved in this person's life ever again, simply give the two week notice and offer to be a reference for her future employment. Be sure to give her a few extra bucks on her last day to show your appreciation as well. Also have your child make something for her to show her you know she was an important part of his life.
The Long Goodbye
Say your pre-school has a lot of holidays, or your nanny also offers to work nights. In this case, you're not really saying goodbye. You're simply saying, "Hey, let's cut your hours." While this helps keep your connection for an extended period, it may happen that your nanny needs to make money from other people and can't always fit your child in her day. Be prepared for her to turn down the opportunity, on occasion. In the meantime, if this lady is someone you love don't forget birthday party invitations, and holiday greetings. You want to keep her close, for everyone's benefit -- especially your child's.
The Honest Drop
While this may hurt a little bit, but it's like ripping off a band-aid. If your nanny did something that you found unacceptable, you've got to let her know. The most diplomatic way to let her go is to explain you're looking for someone who is a better fit for your family. Be prepared to present examples if necessary, as this can only help her understand the parting. Again, be fair in compensation, but don't let her think you'll be a stellar option for a reference, when you know you won't. The pain you'll save on the back end when she sees your child out and about with another woman, will be well-worth the initial discomfort.
Have you had to let a nanny or sitter go?
Image via barb.howe/Flickr
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Comments (15)
As a nanny I think this is pretty sound advice
If your nanny has been there for any length of time she probably loves your child and moving on is going to be hard for her, keep that in mind.
Also don't lie. If you tell your nanny you're going to be a stay at home mom so you don't need her and then hire someone else there is a chance the old nanny will run into the kids with the new nanny. Just be honest, you can sugar coat the reasons but just don't lie.
This is your nanny's job and it's no different than your job, think about how you want to be treated if your boss needs to let you go and treat your nanny the same.
Ha ha! Thanks for the laugh this morning. I am probably in a weird mood, but I though this was going to be a joke. I don't know ANYONE who has a nanny or an adult babysitter - unless you count the grandparents. :D We had a teen babysit for us last year. I guess we don't get out much.
I've worked as a nanny for many years and believe honesty is the best policy. If your circumstances change and you won't need their services or plan to cut them, speak honestly about it with your nanny. Don't pull the "We didn't bond" or "You did _____" BS. If the opportunity allows, give them a short amount of time to find a new job. Many of us aren't doing it for the money which doesn't allow us to build up a savings account.
I loved loved loved our nanny but with 2 kids we just couldnt afford her. I was honest with her about it and felt horrible. We still use her as our "date night" sitter but eventually she will find a full time gig and then she will be the one dumping us! :(
Poverty in the US is at an all time high. Is this story really reaching a broad audience? How many peple still have nannies, for pete's sake? Two major thumbs down on relevence.
Sorry, Windy, guess it depends where you live - I have been in San Francisco and now Washington, DC over the past 10 years and nannies abound in both places - right, wrong or otherwise.
As a former nanny I also agree with these recommendations; I'd only add to be gracious to your nanny if they have to giver *you* notice for some reason. :)
After 7 years we just said goodbye to our nanny and it was very, very hard. We managed to find her an amazing job with a newborn - and knowing she is taken care of made everything so much better. But, we both cried on her last day and speak at least 2 times a week to keep in touch. She is terribly afraid we will move on and forget about her. She loves our kids and would do anything for them. We miss her.