20 Things My Kids Might Sue Me for Some Day


judge's gavelIt was with a great sigh of relief that I learned a judge dismissed the case of Steven Miner II, 23, and his sister Kathryn, 20, who filed a lawsuit against their mother, Kimberly Garrity. They were seeking more than $50,000 for "emotional distress" she caused them by her poor mothering.

And by poor mothering, they weren't talking anything legit, like abuse or neglect, but rather things like sending a birthday card the son didn't like and failing to send care packages when they were in college. The horror! Thank goodness the judge saw their ridiculous, lawsuit-happy ways and threw the frivolous case out, or else we all could be in trouble someday.

It did, however, get me thinking about all the things I have done and do to my kids (or don't do) that they might find lawsuit worthy in the future. Some are more egregious than others, but all frustrate them, or will likely frustrate them in the future, to no end. Here are 20 of them, in no particular order.

1. I haven't completed their baby books and don't have a strong belief that I ever will.

2. I have forgotten when they walked, crawled, spoke, etc. for the first time, and didn't write it down. Sometimes I make it up when people ask.

3. I embarrass them in front of their friends with hugs and kisses, and probably always will. 

4. I have forgotten to pick my son up from school on time and once tried to drop him off at the wrong camp.

5. I don't go on every school field trip.

6. Their white clothing is never really white after the first washing.

7. I will never scrapbook.

8. I won't always defend them. If they're wrong, they're wrong.

9. I throw their junky treasures (acquired at birthday parties and the like) away when they're not looking.

10. I ooh and ahh over the artwork they do, then I chuck it. I can't stand clutter.

11. Lazy mistakes on schoolwork are not okay in our house.

12. I just can't bring myself to let them wear clothing with cartoon characters splashed all over it.

13. I expect them to push themselves, even when it's not comfortable at times. "Pain is just weakness leaving your body" is one of my favorite quotes.

14. I sometimes raise my voice.

15. They get one sugared box of cereal per year on their birthday (the poor deprived things).

16. I make them listen to old-school country music. (Merle is good for the soul.)

17. I won't hand out praise for every little thing they do.

18. The tooth fairy has failed at least once.

19. I do not tolerate disrespectful behavior.

20. I will use as much tough love as necessary to make sure they become kind, considerate human beings.

Some things on the list I could certainly improve upon for the better, but even in my errors, I hope I am teaching them that no one is perfect and that they know everything I do is out of love. Hopefully, I won't raise ungrateful brats like the children in the lawsuit, but I guess you never know. If they do end up suing me someday, I'll know that I should have probably racked up more offenses in order to shape them into better people.

What "bad mothering" might your kids sue you for someday?


Image via walknboston/Flickr

a mom's life, toddler development


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

Freela Freela

Hmmm... my son might have a case against me for that first day of grade one when I didn't pick him up at the bus stop.  His friend's sister rescued him once he missed his stop and walked him home.  They could have made parents much more aware of that early dismissal time!   My older girl could probably sue me for that time that I smacked her head into a doorframe when she was an infant.  I'm not sure if my youngest has a case against me, but I think she could probably get dh for inflicting emotional distress by nicknaming her 'Oops' when she was a baby. 

nonmember avatar CB

My son has a great case against me for not buying him a toy every single time we go to the store like his daddy and grandmother do!!

My daughter thinks she should get to eat ice cream after dinner whether she takes 1 bite of food or cleans her plate, because her "daddy doesn't make her eat her dinner".

Yeah...im screwed.

madja... madjanssen

My daughter could sue me for not playing with her enough when she was younger. Or she could sue me for the 10 minutes I spent each day tickling and kissing her.

1blue... 1bluemonkey

My teenager was pretty sure that when I told her to do something to help around the house I was ruining her life forever and I was lucky she didn't run away (oh, the self-sacrifice! The torture she endured by loading the damned dishwasher!)

Zamaria Zamaria

LOL 1bluemonkey! I'm in the same boat. I have ruined my children's lives by making them do chores and teaching them responsibility. My oldest forgot his homework quite a bit so I just started refusing to bring it to the school. That has ruined his chance of getting into college, according to him. Gotta love the drama that comes with puberty! LOL!

Evalyn Carnate

I had to stop for a minute after reading number 12. No cartoon characters? Seriously? lol All the others are perfectly decent parenting, but I'm definitely not down with arguing over THAT. My kid is 5 and if we didnt have Hello Kitty, LPS, and Tinkerbell clothing we'd be naked. Now ADULTS who wear like..Phineas and Ferb shirts....psh :-p

ChicH... ChicHippie

I don't buy things with characters either, and I don't allow Thomas the Train toys in my house. Want a train? Ok, but it can't have a face! Just a thing for me I guess.

littl... littlemama3098

I don't let my kids watch cartoons or shows that I don't like. Yo Gabba Gabba is disturbing, Spongebob is idiotic, and Thomas the Train...well, let's just say I'm not buying a tiny toy train that costs $15. Or the $100 table to put it on. And I make my four year old make his own bed, clear his dishes, and he does little jobs like dusting and putting laundry away. Horrible parenting...


1-10 of 52 comments 12345 Last