Everything I Did Wrong in Parenting This Week

April Peveteaux

bad parent
It's Friday, and wow, am I exhausted. You would be too if you spent an entire week completely screwing up your kids. Thank god it was a short week, or who knows what kind of long-term damage I could have accomplished. Luckily, I just have one kid who lost a toenail, and another who lost her innocent smile. Banner week!

So here's what went down in my house that's totally, mostly my fault. My biggest parenting mistakes of the week, in all of their glory for you to totally judge. Can't wait to read those comments!

1) Gave My Daughter an Eating Disorder

My husband and I put this "double vegetable" rule in place, for the times our daughter came home from pre-school with a full container of the veggies we sent with her lunch. Didn't eat your vegetables at lunch? Double for dinner! Turns out we were encouraging sneaky food habits. Thanks to her teacher, we have been properly schooled. But not after she already figured out how to hide her peas in her milk glass.

2) Taught My Son the Words to "Centerfold"

Sorry, it's just a damn catchy song. Yet, if he grows up to have a problem with porn, you all will know why.

3) Told Both Kids to Shut It. NOW. & $#@%*!

Yeah, this followed a "screaming contest" they decided to have while I was stuck on the 101 in the blazing hot sun. Still, I can't really justify the cursing that accompanied the admonishment, nor the the wine drinking before they were even in bed that followed.

In addition to this amazing trio of horrifying parenting moves, my son wound up in the backyard without my knowledge, he also destroyed a "zoo" his sister's pre-school worked two weeks to build, and tried to steal a "Dora, the Explorer" book from an older kid who almost cleaned his clock. So basically, I'm not applying to the "Mom Hall of Fame" based on this week's activities.

What was the most messed up thing you did this week with your kids?


Image via Maggie Storm

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