If I wasn't already convinced that single moms are some of the most amazing creatures on earth, Halle Berry just sealed the deal for me. The actress has taken ex-boyfriend Gabriel Aubry to court, alleging he's been neglecting the couple's 3-year-old daughter, Nahla, when he's in charge. She wants to renegotiate the couple's custody agreement.
It's no secret that these two love to fight. And with little details out right now about just what the male model supposedly did wrong with his daughter, it's hard to tell who's right and who's wrong. But I had that mother reaction when I read the words "child neglect," didn't you? I can't imagine having to send my kid off with someone else for a few days at a time and wonder, What is she doing? Yes, even when that "someone else" is her father.
It's an odd thing, and I'll admit it. I'm a control freak. I learned that when I went on a business trip a few weeks back to preview Cars 2 in Los Angeles for The Stir. I was gone for four days, leaving my daughter in the very capable hands of her father. I trust him. Obviously. I had a baby with the man!
So call me crazy. You can even say the same things that people are saying about Halle every time she opens her mouth about Gabriel. So she chose to have a baby with the guy, I chose my husband.
But there was that part of me a few weeks back that had such a hard time just letting go, that couldn't help but wonder, Will he know to do what I would do? Will he put her lunch in a disposable bag on class trip day? Will he put the leave-in conditioner in her hair before bed to prevent the tangles?
It's ridiculous, I know. He's her father. I'm a mom who has written about how fathers won't take a more active role unless we, the mothers, let them. I firmly believe that dads are as good as moms. But it's hard, at the end of the day, to cede control because you LOVE this little person so gosh darn much. It's hard to trust when your child's safety is on the line.
You act, well, irrationally. In the past, I may have criticized Halle Berry for acting like a bit of a loon, for putting her daughter in the middle of a heated custody battle, for putting her anger first. Now, I don't know. I get it. It's not just anger. It's fear. It's control. It's missing your kid like crazy.
Do you ever spend days away from your child? How do you deal with giving up control? Is it hard?
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