I'm a Closet Co-Sleeper


admit co sleeperEver since my daughter was born over five years ago, I've been zigging and zagging my parenting styles depending on the stage, and situation with my babies. There is no "one size fits all" method of parenting, no matter how much you may dig Spock or Sears. However, I've always been pretty clear about not wanting to co-sleep.

My opinion was first developed when I was simply scared to roll over on my tiny preemie, and instead kept her in a bassinet next to my bed. The few times she did come into the bed as she grew bigger, and stronger, she became so excited she wouldn't sleep. So my husband and I cemented our belief that our bed was only for us.

This was only reinforced when my second child came along. After all, we needed all the alone time we could get. And the only time that was happening was after dark. Our bed was where we connected, in every way. Hell, no I wasn't going to share that precious time with anyone but my husband.

Until I did.

I'm finally having to admit that when my toddler (and now my pre-schooler) find their way into our bed five out of seven nights of the week, that we're a family of co-sleepers. It started when, at around 18 months, my son still wasn't sleeping through the night. His sister slept through the night at four months, so we were reaching the end of our rope. When it became clear that he wasn't hungry, he wasn't wet, and he was only soothed as long as I held him in my arms, I brought him to bed. There he slept peacefully, and usually later than he would in his own crib.

And that's why we kept doing it. Keeping the peace, and comforting our little dude became a priority. We were exhausted when he was waking up every single night, and this was a way for everyone to get much-needed sleep. It wasn't surprising when his sister decided to get in on that action, and that's when we realized what a fabulous thing a king-sized bed was, after all.

So while I still believe parents need to have their own time, and space, the benefit of cozying up is also becoming more and more clear. Which is why everyone starts out in their own beds, and a middle of the night migration happens more often than not. And that's cool with me.

How do you feel about co-sleeping?

bedtime, safety, toddler sleep


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sadyjo31 sadyjo31

That was the only way we could get our first daughter to sleep at all. My youngest rarely co-cleeps but from time to time my 4 yo still comes in.

Memph... MemphisSuzi

I am not a co-sleeper.  Started out because my son was also a preemie and when he came home he was just 5lb -- I was sure I would smush him!  Not to mention the cords from his various machines, so he slept next to my bed.  At 6 months, he quite contently went to his own crib.  From time to time, I have tried to bring him to bed with us, he kicks, he squirms, he doesn't sleep at all and gone when my blissful vision of mom and baby snuggled contently next to each other.  ** sigh** I really wanted those snuggly sweet moments but my kid is just happier in his own space. 

mleil... mleilanim

Im ok w/co sleeping...to a point. We allowed it for so long before we knew it our 10 year old AND 7 year old squirmed their way into the middle. Unfortunately it came to an abrupt halt when we brought our newborn home. He is not having his crib in any way shape or form. So to allow us the 1-2 hours in between feedings he sleeps soundly in between us both, tummy up, in a king. I love when we all snuggle; however, I'm beginning to really miss my husband when I know bedtime is really our only allotted "us" time & again we wont have it back for a looong time.

butte... butterflymkm

When I first brought our dd home, sometimes (not all the time) the only way she would sleep was right smack between my boobs lol. And I didn't bf! I think she just liked my heartbeat. But by 4 or 5 months she was in her crib and now (she's 2) when I try to get her to sleep with us when she wakes up at night from a nightmare or whatever she refuses and just jumps up and down on the bed. I think she just likes her own space.

-Bell... -BellaMorte-

I'm pro-cosleeping.  Whereas some won't because there child was a preemie that's one of the reasons i did.  She was 4lbs 12oz, plus she has serious reflux and would gag/choke.  I was scared to death she'd stop breathing so being next to me was the only way I could rest and relax just a little. Tried a bed side sleeper and she wasn't down.  It worked well for us.  My husband and i don't need to sleep alone to bond, hell we're asleep.Hard to bond when you're out cold. lol My daughter is 4 and is still sleeping with us, although we are finally working on her room but hey if she doesn't want to go i'm not going to force it.  She sleeps better and later i believe because of cosleeping.  It may not be for everyone but it's for us.  And i say don't knock or judge it until you at least try it.  I used to say before the birth of my dd that she would NEVER be in our bed and then she was born and all my preconceived notions went out the window.

Ashle... AshleyFoster360

i just celebrated independant sleeping in a positive light. For example, letting her pick out her own big girl bed and even wen she was in her crib, she picked out her own sheets and blankets and snuggle buddies. I think its cute to co-sleep but its not practical in my opinion, when it comes to a longterm perspective or an intimate-time perspective. I love to celebrate my bedroom as my own domain too so it sets the rule and knowledge to everyone that its mommy-land ad theirown bedrooms is THEIR land.

starl... starlighthippie

We are occasional co-sleepers and my 13 m/o always starts the night in her crib. I bring her into bed when she wakes.

Steph... StephanieSD

Muffin slept with us until she was about 3 1/2 months old. She was one of those babies that needed to feed every. single. hour. and would not sleep for more than 30 to 45 minutes at a time. I was too exhausted to get out of bed for feedings. Suddenly one night she slept for two hours. Then four, then five hours. When she got up to six hours we moved her to a crib in our room and after a few nights a crib in her own room. I never slept well with her in the bed. She's noisy and she kicks all night long. We were just on vacation were we co-slept because we thought it would be easier. She's ten months old now. It was hard to get her to sleep because she was so excited, and she still moved and kicked all night long so I didn't sleep well.

If she moves back into our bed when she's older, maybe I'll leave her in the bed with her dad and go sleep in her room. He sleeps through all her talking and kicking.

My husband and I were happy as a couple to have our bed to ourselves again. He works such long hours that some days we don't even see each other until bedtime.

shiva... shivasgirl

i started co sleeping with my first the night we went to war in Kuwait. He was 18 months old, his dad worked graveyard and I was scared. He stayed in my bed until he moved to his dad's at 13..but slept with me when he came home on weekends.....he used the excuse that I had a waterbed and he didnt, lol, I knew he missed me. When I remarried and had preemie twins, my dh and I brought them both in our bed. When we got custody of my badly abused stepson, he came in too...we got another regular king sized bed and now our room is almost nothing but bed. Me and my daughter sleep in my waterbed, and my dh and the boys sleep in the regular bed. It is better for dh's back, and the beds are pushed together so we still sleep next to each other...my oldest is 23 and lives out of state, but when he comes home he sleeps with me and his sister, only problem now is his snoring!

Littl... LittleManMama

I am a reluctant co sleeper. Ds slept in his bassinet for a long time and then into his crib where he slept thru the night until 5 1/2 months old and all he'll broke loose. He was up at least every 90 min. I tried everything I could think of but after 3 months I was so exhausted. It was CIO or co sleep. Besides the fact that I am anti CIO, my son is super persitant and I don't believe it would work for him. So I chose co sleep. I am a convert and embrace it. I love waking to his sweet smiles and I sleep so well now. My husband and are managing to find time for each other so it's all good.

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