By the time you read this, I may be dead. See, I'm pretty sure my daughter is going to kill me while I sleep. She's currently all Furious George because I didn't buy her a pair of hooker heels. She doesn't seem to understand that she's 2. The rule is, she's not allowed to wear hooker heels until she's at least 4.
"No" was NOT a satisfactory response to her demands, so I'm waiting for the day when I wake up to her shoving one of my high-heeled shoes into my eye socket.
It's a pretty extraordinary way to go out, so I'm okay with that.
It's the terrible 2s tantrums I can't handle.
I have successfully managed to avoid the shoe-in-the-eye-socket trick twice before. My older children are 4 and 9 and while they're convinced I'm a dumbass (because, well, obviously), they're not ready to murder me.
My daughter, however, is another story.
I'd call her "precocious" but I hate that word because it sounds so pretentious. Instead, I'll call her "willful" because it's closer to the truth. She's been willful since birth, which is a good thing, considering she was born with a near-fatal birth defect called an encephalocele. She had to go through neurosurgery as a baby to remove some of her brain (yeah, I told you it was near-fatal) and I'm willing to bet that willfulness is part of the reason she survived.
So I don't discourage it.
My own mother laughs as my daughter throws her body on the floor when her demands for candy are not met. She's laughing, I should explain, not at my toddler, whose curls are bouncing in indignation, but at her temperament.
"She's her mother's daughter, all right," my mother says, giggling.
I groan inwardly. This tantruming stuff won't stop until she's 30, and even then (speaking from experience), if she doesn't get her Chinese takeout the way she ordered it, I'm willing to bet she'll go on a tear.
So instead of being upset about her tantrums, I remind myself (as I pour another vodka/tonic) that this, too, will pass. That I am privileged to have a daughter so willful that she's always ready to speak her mind and become angry when she doesn't get what she wants. Being assertive and ready to do anything to get what she wants, well, those are not bad qualities at all.
I know that we will both survive the terrible 2s.