Moms Can Be the Worst Bullies on the Playground
Watch out parents, apparently kids aren't the only bullies on the playground. Have you ever noticed that your invitation to a play date gets "forgotten" all the time? Or do you feel like a certain mom stops talking when you walk into the circle? Then you might be the victim of a mom bully.
On the TODAY Show this morning, they took on this "monster in a minivan" story and explained how power dynamics don't stop once you've graduated. These moms who bully can actually create a pretty uncomfortable environment for other moms, whether it's by exclusion or outright hostility. Parental judgment, anyone?
Of course, all bullying really does start with the mom or the dad.
Kids learn from their parents, and if you've got an aggressive parent, bulldozing his or her way through life, the children will learn to mirror that bad behavior. You can see this when parents step in to defend their kids, who are clearly bullies themselves. It's more rare when a mom steps forward and says yes, what my child did was wrong. It happens, like it did in the Casey Heynes case.
Luckily, the moms at my daughter's school are all mature, smart women who wouldn't stoop so low as to behave like a child. But we know those people are out there. Just take a look in the comments to find hate-filled rants and name-calling. Sure, it's harder to do this to someone's face, and that's why the experts say you have to confront the mom bully. Acknowledging what's happening and saying that it's not okay is the best way to end negative behavior among the adults on the playground.
Sounds like that good advice could spill over to the kids as well.
Do you know a mom bully?
Image via DaMongMan/Flickr
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sodapple
KTMOM
I feel lucky to not have to deal with any of this. I think part of it is because I can read people well and I know which women to just be polite to but keep my distance, and which ones I want to pursue friendships with. So far, so good.
jpfsmom
lovinangels
Of course. Who doesn't?
smtxcowgirl
I stay away from mommy groups, especially on the playground. I know they can be vicious from others stories and I want nothing to do with that kind of drama. When we go to the playground, it's either my husband, I and kids or my best friend and our kids.
LOL maybe my friend and I look like a mommy clique! How funny, I never thought of that before. But it's only two of us, and we always talk to other mommies. We don't exclude!
I once saw a mommy clique on the playground, seriously, there were several of them in a very tight knit circle while their kids played. They all looked exactly the same in velour sweats OR khakis and polo shirts and their hair in ponytails. I just wanted to say "Ok sheeple let's move this way." I know, that's mean but I freakin' hate it when people can't think for themselves and follow the leader. Anyways, obviously they were planning on going to the park the way the mommies and most of the children were dressed, but one mommy had her young toddler daughters in dresses. Freakin' dresses! Who puts their daughter in a dress to go to the playground???
Don't get me started on when they left and they all put their kids in strollers to walk to their gas-guzzler SUV'S 25 yards away!!! I couldn't believe it.
And this is why I hate going to the playground!
momavanessa
I have dealt with a group of moms who thought they were the owners of the park since they were all rich and had strollers that cost 4 times more than mine. They would give evil stares at me but I think they were jealous since I was the only one that had my husband come along and play as a family! In I am glad I moved out of Sonoma!
Blueliner
I haven't noticed this at all and we go to several parks frequently. Maybe I'm just oblivious to it lol.
miya_baby
Wheepingchree
Thankfully, I haven't dealt with this. All the moms and dads that go to our local park are really friendly.
MemphisSuzi
Only once. It was a mother who actually laughed at my crying son when her much older child pushed him off the slide. He was sitting at the top ready to come down and I was telling him to wait as the child before him had not cleared ... and BAM! Big kid pushed him over the side, saying "go already" I tried to catch him but wasnt quick enough and he hit the ground. Crying and bleeding. This childs mother came over and laughed - LAUGHED. "Boys will be boys, man up little guy." UMMM WHAT??? I asked her to please teach her son not to do that. Her question, "why? life is tough" So I went off on her -- and others moms backed me up. We havent seen the bully mom since.