Mom Pressure on the Playground

on May 3, 2011 at 8:30 PM

playground peer pressure After five years of actual parenting, and writing about parenting, I thought I was pretty immune to mommy peer pressure. Hell, if I can shrug off trolls calling me "everything that is wrong with breeders today" then a stink eye over the swing set isn't going to phase me. Until it does.

Last weekend I caught myself searching for hand sanitizer after another mom aggressively offered me hers when my two-year-old shoved his hand into a disgusting pool of standing water. Honestly, I wasn't too worried about it, as he's stuck his hands into much worse things. And we still do have one rule in our house, and that rule is wash your hands before dinner. So why would I get my hands dirty by rubbing hand sanitizer into his little grubby paw? Because that other mommy made feel like I had to, or my son would get the first case of polio in the Los Angeles area since 1979.

This is pretty out of character for me, or so I thought.

When I did a postmortem on my actions born out of shame, I realized I'd been succumbing to the playground peer pressure quite a bit lately. In fact, these three times made me realize it's time to grow a pair:

Mother 'Effing Sharing

Gah, I hate this one. Two-year-olds don't share. Nor do they understand it just because you repeat, "turns" in a desperate voice. My older daughter has realized this and just lets go of anything my son grabs while screaming, "Mine!" Surely her submission in the face of a hysterical male won't have lasting implications. Right? Regardless, apparently other people's kids on the playground expect more from my little capitalist, and I bowed to the pressure recently while wringing a plastic shovel out of my little darling's hands and handing it over to the wailing baby next to him. That's right. BABY. I call it like I see it.

Put Some Pants on That Kid

My daughter loves dresses and skirts, but she also loves slides and monkey bars. One, "Oh!" followed by an incredibly fast scan for the mother-of-this-girl-who-lets-her-show-her-underwear-around-town caused me to pack a pair of shorts in the car for jungle gym emergencies. Or maybe we should just stop going to the "fancy" playground.

The Penis Incident

So a kid flashed my daughter on the playground. Kids will be kids. Then another dad (see moms aren't always to blame!) made me feel like I was doing a disservice if I didn't address it with the other parent. Gawd. Yes, it was awkward, and quite frankly I don't think either kid had as much agita over the deviant behavior as I did.

Do you give in to peer pressure at the playground?

Image via Eamonn/Flickr

About the author April Peveteaux

writes about anything that gets stuck in her craw. A mom of two in Los Angeles, she can't believe she practically lives in the country now after attempting to raise kids in Brooklyn.

Filed Under: discipline, grooming, play

Comments (19)

jalaz77

on May 3, 2011 at 9:07 PM

Ok I giggled a bit on the last one. A sim

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on May 3, 2011 at 9:08 PM

Ok I giggled a bit on the last one. A simple keep your pants up will do but to drill it into the kids head will embarrass him and make him feel dirty. Kids are kids for sure.

angevil53

on May 3, 2011 at 9:12 PM

that's funny, i don't care what other's think of my parenting skills. i can assure them my son is well-behaved even if it's not how they teach their kids.

kisses5050

on May 3, 2011 at 9:32 PM

My daughter had Pink Baby she didnt share Pink Baby it was "special" to her > We were at the park a kid grabbed it and said "myyyyyyyy turn" My kid started to cry and said "Noooooo Pink Babyyyyyyyyy" This mom looks at me all judgieandsquinty and says "Wow she shuuuuure doesnt share very well does she!" So I looked at her and said " Well Pink Baby is very important to her" The woman rolled her eyes and huffed so I waited a second and said " Can I have your car keys?" she says "what?" I say can I share your car? for just a second?" She scoots over now" Are you crazy?" I look at her " Wow you dont share very well"

kellymom246

on May 3, 2011 at 9:55 PM

Tell those other moms to mind their own business! You didn't do anything wrong in the situations described above. The other parents sound way uptight. Hand sanitizer isn't really good for you and who the hell cares if a little girl's underwear is showing.

Parents should be able to parent the way they see fit without other people thinking it's any of their business. Stay strong!

Shanin22

on May 3, 2011 at 10:04 PM

@ kisses- LMAO! Wish I had the cajones to say that!

Sometimes I give in. Guess I still have the "new young mom" mentality. I had my first when I was 19 and was treated more like a child then a mom at most of the playgrounds, lol. But now I'm 25 and a bit more seasoned of a mom, I need to start sticking to my guns and blowing off the crazy women.

aidensmomma508

on May 3, 2011 at 10:06 PM

HAHA NO way! We do our own thing and don't even socialize for the most part at the playground. The only time I talk to other kids when they talk to me pretty much.

kjbugsmom1517

on May 3, 2011 at 11:12 PM

I hate playgrounds... I take my kids but kids r rude, they use the equipment in ways that smaller kids can get hurt if they try it. Not to mention sharing. We don't even take toys to the park. So when my almost 3 year old wants to play with another kid, mind u with! She doesn't want to take the toy the other kid is such a brat! Drives me nuts how bratty kids r. My girls r outgoing, sweet and will play or at least attempt to play with anyone. I'm usually chasing my kids away to a diff activitiy. I just don't think kids learn how to interact and it makes me crazy.

Nonmember comment from Anon

on May 4, 2011 at 12:00 AM

I usually just do my own thing and my kids do theirs. Of course I have basic rules, but if they are not the same as someone else's, Oh well. Once I was attacked by a mom after she "rescued" my kid who was hanging back as a protest. That really upset me, but I think it also made me stronger. One thing I'll say, regardless of what you think, don't get in another mom's face when she's trying to discipine or comfort her child. (Assuming the child is not in immediate danger.) Other than that, just remember that every kid is on his own timeline. My kids are 4 and they still don't open up to new people. I'm not gonna lose sleep over it.

Nonmember comment from Alla

on May 4, 2011 at 12:17 AM

#1 YOUR kid is the bratty baby. He can definitely be taught to share. #2 Those parents are instilling shame into their children by making it "naughty" to show your underwear accidentally at such a young age. Don't buy into it.