Easter's right around the corner. It's one of those festive times of year when we as parents are gripped with the urge to force our children to pose with some sort of oversized mythical creature, ostensibly for the purpose of capturing a precious photographic memento, but deep down, let's be honest, we're totally punishing them for that entire first year of life when every single one of our favorite shirts was adorned with a permanent barf stain on the shoulder.
I myself have a lovely keepsake of my young innocent self perched on the lap of what appears to be a hungover serial killer, but even Bad Santa doesn't creep me out as much as costumed Easter bunnies. Blame it on Donnie Darko, or simply on the fact that it's basically impossible to create an adult-sized bunny outfit that isn't terrifying, but kids + Easter bunnies = holiday gold.
Where "gold" means "traumatic memories that will eventually require years of counseling," that is.
Let's take a look at some of Flickr's finest Easter moments:
Well, now, this one's not that bad. If you don't look at the bunny's eyes. Or the ... mouth. The pink, slightly opened, highly unpleasant mouth. *shudder*
I—wow. This bunny needs a makeunder, stat. Because there's just something about this ensemble that makes me think the owner uses it year-round, if you know what I mean.
OH MY GOD WTF IS THIS GAHHHHHHHHH?
No. No, no, no, no. Do not let your children near this thing. I'm pretty sure there's a scalpel hidden in that basket.
Oh, now this is just adora—wait. That's ... Pat the Bunny, right? A life-sized Pat the Bunny. As in ... the "touch and feel" Pat the Bunny. Judy can pat the bunny. Now YOU pat the bunny. Show me on the bunny where the bad bunny touched you.
So cute! The bunny is rearing back its giant head to tear into that little girl's tender jugular!
I think what's most disturbing about this is the palpable sense that the person in the bunny costume is spiraling into a bottomless pit of suicidal despair.
As is the case with many of these types of photos, the older child is doing her best to pose as requested, while the baby is keenly aware that the situation is COMPLETELY EFFED UP.
Moments before the Secret Service carried out Operation Carrot, one of lesser-practiced close-combat training drills.
So, tell me. Will your child be posing with the Easter bunny this year? Do they require some coaxing?
Images via the following Flickr users (top to bottom): Sister72, RBerteig, izatrini_com, misocrazy, Gill Bland, supafly, Sam Pullara, Rob n Amy C, Matt Grommes, creativedc