Mall Easter Bunny Ruins Childhoods & Christianity

easter bunny mall is crap
Rabbit, You're Not Fooling Anyone
In yet another episode of, "That never happened when I was a kid," I'm going to explore the relatively new phenomenon of the Easter Bunny photo op. I'm sure I'm late to the party on this, since for the last 14 years I celebrated Easter in the den of sin (and land of no malls) that is New York City. But apparently while we were doing combo Passover and Easter dinners, the rest of the world has been subjected to an Easter Bunny village at their local mall, where for just $20, your child can meet the Easter Bunny himself and go home with a glossy 5 x 7 and two wallets of the memorable event.



Exhibit A: A man (or woman) in a bunny costume does not fool even the slowest kid. They all know it's not a real bunny. So if you take your child to get her picture taken with a man in a bunny costume, there's no way you can say, "Yes, that is the real Easter Bunny. Please put in a request for deep fried Cadbury Eggs for mama." Unlike the old man dressed up as Santa Claus, who is a real person pretending to be another *real* person. Does mall special event staff not see the glaringly obvious difference? Do they really think they're fooling children into thinking they got the real Easter Bunny to show up in Glendale at The Americana?

Exhibit B: No one gets their picture taken with the Easter Bunny, because KIDS NEVER GET TO SEE THE EASTER BUNNY. It's like setting up a Tooth Fairy photo booth. Why would you do that? That's right, you wouldn't. Kids may glimpse mom macking on Santa Claus. Santa is also very clearly identified by his physical characteristics in movies, literature, wrapping paper ... But really, we don't know if the Easter Bunny is a Californian or a Castor. Because no one has even seen him. That's the whole freaking point.

Exhibit C: Yes, we know that children associate Easter with candy and egg hunts. But Easter is the most serious of the Christian holidays and, thus far, has only benefited the chocolate, egg, hat, and frilly dress markets. By trying to expand the commercialization, you're only taking kids further away from the message. A man died, people. Christmas has already way jumped the shark, can't we keep Easter just a tad bit more contained?

Apparently not, if you want to make a buck.

Does the mall Easter Bunny tick you off too?


Image via abbybatchelder/Flickr

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