It's difficult to ever criticize anyone who chooses to serve our nation's military and put their lives on the line for rest of us, but I can't help but question the choice of an Ohio couple stationed in Afghanistan. They have a 2-year-old son at home in Ohio, and they CHOSE to serve at the same time for almost seven months because they didn't want to be separated from each other.
Chat and Jeff Rice could have gone separately, but they thought they would miss each other too much and felt their marriage would suffer, according to a CNN story. So now their son, Seth, is left Skyping his goodnights to his parents who are in the midst of a war.
I know there are plenty of experts who will say your spouse should come first, that if you don't have a happy marriage, your children will suffer. But when working on your relationship comes with such danger -- danger of leaving your child an orphan -- it seems a bit selfish ... at least at first.
They say he's likely too young to remember. Jeff told CNN, "We were thinking that a 2-year-old wouldn't remember too much of us being gone than if we had to do it when he was 7, when he'd remember the whole thing."
That may or may not be true, but they won't remember those precious years either. Perhaps that makes them even more selfless in the service. When I struggle with putting my daughter in daycare, I always remember something someone told me -- that if you choose to leave your child to work, don't feel sorry for them, they're probably having a great time, feel sorry for yourself. You're the one who's really missing out. And in many cases, I believe that.
Seth is in the care of his grandparents, so he's in loving, trusted hands. His grandparents call it a "blessing" and cherish this involvement in his life. So really it would seem the couple made an incredible sacrifice both for their country and for their family. To provide an example like that for their son is perhaps the best and least selfish parenting ever.
The Rices head home tomorrow, and I can only imagine how amazing their reunion with their son will be. Welcome home to them.
Do you think a couple serving overseas simultaneously is selfish or selfless?
Image via Carissa GoodNCrazy/Flickr


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Comments 201
I don't really think it's a matter of "selfish vs. selfless" I think they made a good decision based on their situation. Was it the best decision, who knows, but it worked out and that's the best we can hope for in any situation involving such difficult choices.
I agree with momtothemax -- they took a huge risk and increased the odds the child would end up with neither of them. So yes that to me is selfish. He is there son, they choose to have him, they choose to be in the service, and they knew that it most likely cause them to at times be seperated -- its a tough situation.
Tough situation.. I personally would not have left my child without at lease one parent there. Since I have never served our country, not gonna judge these people. Those parents are serving our country, protecting my children. Enough said
The situation sucks either way. Either both parents are gone or the parents never get to spend time together upping the chance that their relationship is ruined. I think they probably made the best choice concidering that the child had grandparents that he was close to that he could stay with.
They didn't up the chances of making him an orphan anymore than riding in the same car. It's not like they're going to be going on patrols together and if somthing happens to one they'll send the other home.
"I never had a chance to work on any type of romance while I was deployed, not sure how that would save their marriage. Brothers/sisters/spouses are NOT supposed to be deployed together. They are not even supposed to be in the same unit. Same base yes, same unit no."
I'm guessing the point is, if they didn't deploy at the same time, they would be deploying one right after the other, so instead of being apart for 7 months, it would be 14 months.
I think dual military isn't fair to the child(ren) just personally. I think kids deserve one stable parent, but that's just me.
Selfish! I could not leave my boys without either of us at home. It is important to have atleast one parent at home!
I'm with you mookiesmom - who are we to judge them? I'm a little dissapointed that THE Stir is asking us to. They're serving our country.