A government survey on family structure and children's health is out, and while it looks like a fascinating read, I'm going to take Motherlode's word on the most startling fact in the whole report: 96% of American parents say their children are "well-behaved." I must live in the only American city where the so-so, and horribly-behaved children reside. You know, the 4%.
I do appreciate the 30% of the positive respondents who qualified the survey with a "somewhat" in front of "well-behaved." But 70% of the braggarts said their children were "certainly" well-behaved. Right.
Apparently none of the parents had toddlers. Because otherwise these parents are stoned, or lying. If you think your toddler is "certainly" well-behaved, take a look at this list of typical toddler behaviors. And if the USA comes to you and asks about your child, do not even think about checking the "certainly well-behaved" box if your toddler does any of the following:
- Picks her nose
- Poops his pants
- Grabs Daddy's crotch
- Bites your boob
- Rides the dog
- Wipes snot all over your sweater
- Screams when excited
- Wakes you up before sunrise
- Pees in the bath water
- Refuses to hug Grandma
- Screams "Daddy" when mommy is trying to comfort her, and vice versa
Really, they're lucky they're cute.
How well-behaved is your toddler?
Image via clairity/Flickr