Your Toddler Isn't Well-Behaved


well-behaved toddlerA government survey on family structure and children's health is out, and while it looks like a fascinating read, I'm going to take Motherlode's word on the most startling fact in the whole report: 96% of American parents say their children are "well-behaved." I must live in the only American city where the so-so, and horribly-behaved children reside. You know, the 4%.

I do appreciate the 30% of the positive respondents who qualified the survey with a "somewhat" in front of "well-behaved." But 70% of the braggarts said their children were "certainly" well-behaved. Right.

Apparently none of the parents had toddlers. Because otherwise these parents are stoned, or lying. If you think your toddler is "certainly" well-behaved, take a look at this list of typical toddler behaviors. And if the USA comes to you and asks about your child, do not even think about checking the "certainly well-behaved" box if your toddler does any of the following:

  • Picks her nose
  • Poops his pants
  • Grabs Daddy's crotch
  • Bites your boob
  • Rides the dog
  • Wipes snot all over your sweater
  • Screams when excited
  • Wakes you up before sunrise
  • Pees in the bath water
  • Refuses to hug Grandma
  • Screams "Daddy" when mommy is trying to comfort her, and vice versa

Really, they're lucky they're cute.

How well-behaved is your toddler?

Image via clairity/Flickr

discipline, learning, tantrums


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Caden... CadensMommy813

All the things listed up top are things a kid will do, it has nothing to do with misbehaving. Its called being a kid.

tazdvl tazdvl

I don't see those as misbehaving. I think overall my girls are well behaved.

sstepph sstepph

My son is well behaved when he wants to be. lol.

squish squish

If you expect age-appropriate behavior, and you correct and teach along the way, there is no reason to think that you child is a monster.

Your list is silly.

LadyCash LadyCash

Not bad behaviors at all. Rather, typical toddler actions. 

RanaA... RanaAurora

I'm with those ladies. :)

Rowan WAS a well-behaved toddler. Extremely. It was impressive.

Aurora, on the other hand, isn't a misbehaved toddler, but she's a typical one, which means she's big trouble.

nonmember avatar Anon

My kids were pretty good as toddlers. Somewhere between 3 and 4 they started to become more . . . interesting. They never did most of those things on your list, but they did others (e.g., too shy to interact when prompted). *** I assume the author was trying to be tongue in cheek. I think I'd agree if her point was that more than 4% of US tots are NOT well-behaved.

Death... Deathlilly saying that the only way to have, in your definition, a "well-behaved" toddler is to have a robot one? lol You're silly.

And you can have a toddler that's not doing any of those at a given time. My daughter doesn't do any of those in public and rarely at home. But the things she does do...thats another story lol, but she's still really well-behaved.

sodapple sodapple

everyone has a different definition of "well behaved." for me it was to go out and come back in one piece without my child having a tantrum in the middle of the sidewalk or store. that is just me. =-D

nonmember avatar Allboys

I have four well behaved boys not four automatons. They have bad days here and there to be sure but we don't hold that against them just like I don't want them to hold my bad days against me. And your list is ridiculous. Bad behavior is things like jumping on tables at restaurants, screaming at your parents while they are trying to hold a conversation, vandalizing other peoples property, breaking other peoples property intentionally, intentionally knocking things off shelves for other people to clean up, hitting other children, stealing, throwing a screaming hairy cat fit every time they are told no. Things like that are bad behavior. Your list is simple normal behavior they grow out of once they understand it's not appropriate.

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