3D Movies Need to Stop NOW

April Peveteaux

no more 3d movies
Seriously, WTF?
If one more kid movie is released in 3D, I swear to god I'm going to write a strongly worded letter to whoever it was that decided adding 3D would turn you into James Cameron. I'm tired of dodging things flying at my head for no good reason, and it's not just an old fogey situation: My daughter is 100% with me.

In fact, she's the reason for my call to ban these throwbacks to the 1950s when people were just getting used to the talkies.

We've tried to go to the new kid movie releases, but always have to leave as the previews start rolling, when Yogi Bear suddenly becomes threatening. Some theaters will give us our money back when the freak-out inevitably occurs, some won't. But no babysitter for her little brother is willing to return my money because sis couldn't handle a little three dimensional action.

But my own issues aren't the only reasons 3D needs to head back to the history books. Here's some more not as me-specific reasons to retire the glasses.

  • It's bad for your eyes. Do you get the 3D headache when you walk out of the theater and take off the glasses? It's probably going to cost you in optometry bills.
  • Okay, Avatar was cool. But a crappy movie will not be any better because it's assaulting yet another sense.
  • The environment has got to be hurting as not everyone is recycling the plastic specs.
  • Some people can't even watch 3D -- there's a real condition that affects a small percentage of the population where they simply cannot see 3D even with the glasses. Some people call it stereo-blind, which sounds apropos.
  • Say you did a lot of acid in your youth. Now you've got to worry about flashing back every time you just want to see a remake of a not-so-great '80s movie.

Please, movie people, stop the madness now. Let me take my daughter to at least one movie this year without her wetting her pants. Thank you.

Do you hate 3D movies?


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