I know my children better than anyone else in the world. I've been there for every milestone and, with the exception of a few short weekends away and nights out, every waking moment of their lives. I know the way they look in their sleep, what the first words out of their mouths will be in the morning, and what keeps them up at night.
But, despite knowing them so well, they remain such mysteries to me. Here are the top 10 things I don't understand about my children:
1. Why is it that as soon as I decide to invest in bulk of anything, they are suddenly sick of that particular food? Always, without fail.
2. Why can they never, ever agree on a movie to watch? They all like the same ones -- why can they never agree on one on the same day?
3. Why is there always a trail of dirty fingerprints all along the wall going up the stairs? Are their hands really that dirty? And is it physically impossible for them to use the banister?
4. Why is it that food can be yucky until it's on my plate and I am enjoying it? Only then do my little monsters want to eat it.
5. Why is it that I have to yank them out of bed every day for school, but come Saturday, they are up at the crack of dawn?
6. Why, once we arrive to the pediatrician, do all of their symptoms suddenly disappear?
7. Why does my daughter find it impossible to wear a pair of tights more than once? Does she only choose the days she's in tights to climb the jungle gym?
8. Why is it that my diaper-wearing children always choose first thing in the morning or last thing in the evening to poop? I'm paying big bucks for him to be in daycare -- the least they can do is wipe his tush!
9. Why do they only choose freshly laundered bedding to have accidents in? Is there something about the smell of Downy that makes them wet themselves?
10. And how do they know just when I need a big bear hug? It's almost like they know me as well as I know them.
Do your children perplex you as well? Do share!
Image via benmcleod/Flickr