Just when you thought you could pat yourself on the parental back -- when you've perfectly polished the pre-school admission essay, you've got your toddler eating every shade of vegetable, and you've learned to strap down a car seat so tight an earthquake couldn't move it -- someone comes along to show that you still suck.
At Jim's Pancakes, a man creates the most amazing feats of kid-pleasing engineering since the pop-up books of Robert Sabuda. And then Jim photo-blogs about them. His creations include the beehive shown above, a gorgeous 3-D birdhouse, and this delightful prancing unicorn:
Some of them are not just edible but wearable:
And he does it all in the damn morning. What's that? You say you still make your child round pancakes? That's practically a form of abuse. I hope at least they're rainbow-colored.
Apparently it's all a breeze for Jim. As he explains in his post on the beehive cakes:
This one is super easy to make, you just have to make some circles and some 'C' shapes for the door. Stack ‘em up and you’re done! Yes, I admit that my bees could use a little work. I was trying to make them really small to match the scale of the beehive but they just turned into blobs.
Yeah the bees could use some work! You're terrible dude! Kid's gonna be in therapy!
I have to get off my gruff horse for a moment and say I do love the fiendish joke of the toilet cakes with chocolate-chip poop:
Maybe I should cut Jim some slack.
And for you, readers, some suggestions for how you can make up for your sub-par parenting.
- Make like Mila's mama and give up your hard-earned baby naptime to document their dreams.
- Do like Kai and make sure your kid opens his lunch to find a healthy Woody or Spider-Man sandwich smiling at him.
- Keep working on that car seat. I bet you can get it a little bit tighter.
Do you attempt art when making your child's food?