There's a movie quote that's been bouncing around in my head since I became a parent.
In The Long Kiss Goodnight, Geena Davis goes from cuddly mom in appliqued sweaters to kick ass secret agent, prompting Samuel L. Jackson to ask her:
"Back when we first met, you were all like 'Oh phooey, I burned the darn muffins.' Now, you go into a bar, ten minutes later, sailors come runnin' out. What up with that?"
That's me. In reverse.
I used to make sailors blush. Now I can't summon up a curse word to save my life ... in a bar.
Even with my kid sleeping comfortably at Oma's house.
I'm an embarrassment to adults everywhere because even when I'm off duty, I'm not quite "off duty."
If these fit you, I raise a sippy cup in your direction. With a milk chaser:
1. You spell out your curse words -- at the bar.
2. You find yourself asking for a straw for a cup of coffee.
3. You rock back and forth in the supermarket line without a kid in sight.
4. You grab the extra thing of handi-wipes at the doctor's office or the restaurant because you never know who will need their hands wiped.
5. You open the back door of the car first ... even when you're the only one getting in.
6. You talk to the backseat of your car like someone is there.
7. You cut your food up in the restaurant into itty bitty pieces.
8. You tell people you have to go potty.
9. You lean across and dab the salad dressing off your colleague's chin at a work lunch.
10. You grab the children's menu at the restaurant just for the free crayons.
Image via jessica mullen/Flickr