My first son was a great sleeper. I think he started consistently sleeping through the night by 4 months, and we congratulated ourselves on our stellar child-rearing abilities. When people talked about waking in the night with their babies, I secretly wondered what they were doing wrong. I mean, hello. It was easy.

Naturally, as is only just and fair punishment for Ugly Parenting Hubris, my second son didn't sleep through the night for over two years.

He's now 2.5 and has apparently decided that a few months of blissful uninterrupted sleep were enough for me, because we have a brand-new set of sleep problems at hand. First of all, he's been waking up. Loudly. One to three times a night he starts howling for no apparent reason, and when I go in there to check on him, he seems fine. Not upset, not even sitting upright, just lying there on his belly blatting away. 

So I tuck him back in and pat his butt and remind him that it's night-night time and ohmigod please stop this Mommy loves you but will you please please shut your whine-hole goodnight sweetie, and that's that. Until his next wake-up call.

Secondly, he's been taking off his pajamas. He did this the other morning and was ridiculously proud of himself, lying there pink and naked and probably all of four seconds from ripping off his diaper too. We thought it was kind of funny and a little worrisome but forgot all about it until the next bedtime when he started wailing 10 minutes after being put to bed and we discovered him half-naked, half-stuck, and fully pissed off. 

Lastly, he can apparently crawl out of the crib. I put him to bed last night and he was resistant, not wanting it to be bedtime. When I peered at the monitor a while later I couldn't see him, so I went back and checked his room and oh my GOD he had one leg slung over the top rail of the crib and was just sort of precariously balanced there, halfway between plummeting over the edge and onto the floor. 

I don't even know where to get started with all this. Ignore him at night? But then he'll scream down the house because believe me, I know this kid, I live with him, he won't give up until the birds start chirping and gray sunlight fills the house and our ears have long since fallen off. Let him take off his pajamas? Dude, no WAY am I letting him have open access to his diaper, okay? Put him in a big kid bed? But ... but he's just a ... well. Okay, maybe that one we can handle.

Ugh, such a pain. Do any of you have toddlers who give you this much grief at night? If so, can you recommend a good undereye concealer? 


Image via thebline