The pageant on this week's episode of Toddlers and Tiaras was a "hot mess" as the best pageant mom ever, Sabrina, described it.
It was the America's Trezured Dollz pageant in Nashville where it all went down. Besides hours of delays that left tired and crabby mini beauty queens even crabbier and more tired, the pageant director appeared to skip out with the entry fees.
The promised cash prizes didn't materialize, and the winners were said to be given IOUs.
But back to the reason I actually enjoyed the show this week: Sabrina. While most of the pageant moms each week make me cry for their children, Sabrina had me crying with laughter. She was a pageant mom like no other.
Mom to Iyana, 6, this mama had no room for drama.
When told how much the pageant dresses were, she said "hell to the no" and got them off of eBay.
Her daughters helped her glue stones on the dress, which she picked because they were "drag-queen like." She got a "contact high" in the process.
When it came to prepping Iyana for the stage, there were no coaches. Instead, Sabrina donned a tutu herself and showed her daughter how to walk. "Look off into the air like 'oh I'm so beautiful and you're all the way down there,'" she instructed.
"We're gonna tell those Buffys to step aside," she told her daughter, explaining that Buffys are those girls who eat, sleep, and breathe pageants.
Iyana was adorable decked out in at least one outrageous feathered outfit, and her booty shake would give Beyonce a run for the money.
And she clearly inherited her mother's sass and way with words.
"Give Me the Crown, Witch!" she said as she awaited judging.
When she didn't win the ultimate title, Sabrina reasoned that "the judges must be smokin' something."
Pageants need more peeps like Sabrina. I'd actually look forward to watching each week if she was a regular.
Did you watch this week's episode of Toddlers and Tiaras? Thoughts?
Image via Br3nda/Flickr