‘Toddlers and Tiaras’ Premiere Recap: Meet Makenzie

Julie Ryan Evans

If you're feeling bad about your toddler's tantrums, just turn on Toddlers and Tiaras and meet Makenzie. I can almost guarantee your child will look well-behaved in comparison to this little brat girl.

From screaming tantrums to (allegedly) biting another contestant, this 4-year-old little girl is out of control by anyone's standards. Her mother, Juana, just kind of stands by and watches as Makenzie walks all over her and anyone in her path, then shoves her up on stage to perform.

Tonight is the first time I've ever watched the show, and I tried to go into it with an open mind, trying to understand why parents might think pageants are a good idea for their daughters.

But seeing as how I feel crippling guilt giving my child non-organic grapes, and these women spray massive amounts of aerosol hairspray all over their children's heads, douse them with tanning chemicals to change the color of their skin, and paint them with pounds of cosmetics that I can only guess aren't organic, it was stretch from the beginning.

Then it just got worse. I think perhaps the worst part was when Daisy's "flippers" were revealed by her dentist. Never heard of flippers? Me neither, and I wish I never had (though apparently they're not new to the show!).

They are fake teeth that, in Daisy's words, "makes your teeth more bigger if you just have little teeth."

Because God forbid, a little girl have little teeth?

Of course, there's also the whole sexualization of little girls that pageants seemingly promote. Remember the girls in the sexy dance video that caused so much of a ruckus recently? Well, they had nothing on 6-year-old Daisy, who shimmied and shook in a belly-baring ensemble ... after drinking about three energy drinks.

The other main player in this week's episode, which centered around the "Le Maison de Paris" pageant in Louisiana (though there was nothing French about it), was 9-year-old Alex. She seemed mostly down to earth at first until revealing that if she won the money, she would throw it up in the air and "let money rain down."

Then there was Alex's very overweight mother who proclaimed that her slender daughter's face "looked fat" at one point while on stage.

Wow. I think that's about all I'm left with after this inaugural experience with the show. Wow, and I'm starting to appreciate Shiloh Jolie-Pitt's boyish look more and more.

Did you watch the premier of Toddlers and Tiaras? Thoughts?

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