9 Reasons Your Cat Is Nothing Like My Kid

Flickr photo by oskay
I love my cat. Let him sleep in my bed, love to rub on his belly fur even when I'm fresh out of the shower and know it's going to stick to me kind of love my cat.

But next time you kid-free folks want to compare my kid to your cat, allow me to pee in your litter box:


1. If I leave my kid alone for a three-day jaunt to the beach, you'd call Child Protective Services. Paging the McCann family ...

2. Keeping my kid in sneakers costs me a minimum of $25 every three months. Let's hear it for the paws!

3. If your cat doesn't like dinner, you mix a little canned stuff in there and you're good to go. If my kid wants canned food, the BPA warning siren goes off. 

4. Three words: Spay and neuter.

5. My cat is entertained for hours with a cardboard box and a ball of yarn ... although, come to think of it ... ahem. Let's just say Fisher-Price and Crayola don't make cat toys.

6. We potty-trained the kid with Elmo. We threw the cat in a box every time he tried to pee in a corner.

7. Hey kid, dinner's ready, it's waiting in the basement ... next to your box of poop.

8. My kid went through a period of licking my cheek that we stopped shortly after it started. My cat licks his balls.

9. If I make my kid's head a cheeseburger ... repeat after me ... you'd call Child Protective Services!

Now my kid IS, on the other hand, a lot like a dog. But that's another post.

What do you think: Cats, kids ... ?

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