Sandra Bullock: 5 Tips for a Single Mom

10


Photo from People.com
I'm a single mom to my 2 1/2-year-old son, JD.

Long story short, when my boyfriend and I discovered I was pregnant five weeks into gestation, we decided to be parents -- woo! The day after my 12-week sonogram, he bailed. I've learned a lot about single motherhood since then. Here, some advice for new single mom, Sandra Bullock.

  • Know in Your Heart How Lucky You Are Every day with your child is a blessing, and for single parents, it's an intimate blessing. Here's why: I witness something miraculous via my son all the time. Whether it's a new five-word sentence ("Mommy, you have pretty hands!") or a stolen kiss on my forehead (thanks Bud!). I used to feel sad that I didn't have someone to share these moments with -- his first step, word, encounter with solid food -- but then I realized, wow, this is all for ME! Better yet, it's all for us (JD and me!).
  • Learn the Art of Multitasking From the Beginning Yes, single motherhood is a blessing, but it's also a major juggling act. Here's an example of doing two very important things at once that benefit both you and baby. I call it The Bath-time Facial. (Don't laugh. Okay, laugh!) I plop JD in a tub full of bubbles and boats and rubber cars and then apply my Bliss Steep Clean Mask -- it takes about 20 minutes to work its pore-cleansing magic -- the same amount of time it takes my son to splash and for me to scrub his hair. Get it? (Oh, and the green goop on your face is sure to get a giggle out of your kid -- BONUS!)
  • Ask for Help Repeat after me: It Takes a Village to Raise a Kid! Listen, I totally embrace my modern family, but it's so much more fun when my family and friends join in on the action -- be it babysitting, a kid-friendly coffee clutch, or a helper on a vacation. (My brother Brian was my "manny" on my book tour.) It's also wonderful for my son to be surrounded by lots of people -- especially those who offer to engage him while I clean the bathroom or help solve the mystery of the missing toddler sneaker. (Found! In the umbrella can. Two points for Auntie Kate.)
  • Make Mom Friends I have loads of sassy, single girlfriends who live in New York City, and a bunch of married, childless friends -- I love them all of course, but I can't live without my mom friends. They keep me sane! They chat with me at the park about fashion and politics (and not the color of poop) while our kids play in the sandbox. They totally understand what it means to get a 5 a.m. wake-up call to the tune of "Pancake, Pancake, Pancake!" and I'm not the only one with a Cheerio, pretzel stick, Goldfish buffet on the floor of my car. Mom friends are special. Period.
  • Get Out It's seriously okay to go out sans your child. At first it made me feel really, really guilty. How dare I go on a date and drink a martini while my son plays trains and eats frozen yogurt at home with his favorite babysitter? See how crazy that sentence reads? Whether you sneak away for a mani-pedi, browse the local bookstore or do brunch with your girls -- me-time is essential for you and your baby!

Moms and single moms, please share your advice too! To read about my single mom adventure, check out Rattled: A Memoir.

a mom's life, adoption, child care

10 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

nonmember avatar Mommy Reporter

I'm a single mom too.  My son's father abandoned me when I was pregnant.  He has never even seen our son who will be 2 years old tomorrow...  Thanks for pointing out what a blessing single motherhood is.  It's not always easy, but I'd rather be a single mom than have to deal with a loser guy as my son's father...  Welcome to the club Sandra!!

leppa... leppardfreakgir

I recieved a book called "Single Parenting that works"  by Dr. Kevin Leman, I was a struggling mother.  I receive NO child support from my drug-addicted ex husband.  He doesn't visit the kids or call, or send them cards.  The one visit he had, he bailed on them and abandoned them in the car when the police pulled him over.  He has been hiding somewhere in Montana ever since.  As you can imagine, I was distraught.  The kids were sad.  This book helped a lot.  The main idea is:  SINGLE minded parenting.  Your ex can't infect your children at all and you can raise them EXACTLY how you want to without their input.  That's a HUGE benefit of how you can mold and shape them how you want to.  No baby's daddy drama is WONDERFUL!  But I am sad how the kids feel about it but explain to them that anyone can be a father, it takes a special person to be a good daddy, which my boyfriend is, and he provides them with the manly guidance they need and crave.  Get this book, it helped me a LOT!

lovin... lovinangels

sometimes I wish my ex had bailed when I was pregnant instead of breaking my babies heart everytime he blows her off.

Faith... FaithnGrace

Sandra Bullock you keep on keepin on!  I've done it and many will continue to do so but we must understand that's it's okay as long as you know that you're doing your very best. Thanks for sharing and keep thro em up!  http://www.larayinvallejo.com/

yazmi... yazmin777

it might be great to feel like you can do it all as single mother.but it took  two to make the baby and its not fair somtimes..i love bieng a single mother but its not an easy task.and just as he was thair in the time of making the baby he should be here now.mothers have to struggle not bieng able to shower and even trying to even pee somtimes become a hard thing to do whith having to hold on to the baby or toddler just so he/she dousent fall or cry cous mommy not carrying him/her.thing get so crazy somtimes...i wish i had more help.pleas girls think things through before getting involved with somone you dont truly know

adams... adamsmommy12808

I myself am a single mother of a 1 1/2 year old and I love every minute of it.  My son is my world and truely puts a smile on my face from the time I wake up in the morning until I put my head down at night.  He is the reason I wake up in the morning and have motivation to get things done, unfortunately his father is not in his life as much as he needs to be but at least he has other positive male role models in his life like my dad :)  I hope this helps other single mommies who are in the same fight for their kids!!

nonmember avatar A Single Mom

I think that Sandra Bullock has given some great advice, it is truely good to know in your heart how lucky you are.

nonmember avatar AJ

A friend gave me some great advice when I got divorced. She told me to add underwear and socks to my weekly grocery list until each of the kids had a 30 day supply of each. This way, they can always pull jeans out of the "clirty" laundry pile (a little clean and a little dirty) but they always have clean socks and underwear if you can't do the laundry for three weeks. It was very good advice and taught me to think about other ways to prioritize people over tasks as a single mom.

nonmember avatar Kevin

Never dream of bashing the single moms; KUDOS Ladies! Married one but, what about us (former) single fathers? We exist and have the same issues from non existent mommies to money hardship. We probably have it rougher since we usually aren't so good at the parenting as many women tend to be.

nonmember avatar shanti. D

After i got divorced .. i decided that i wanted a different life. I went in for adoption and now am a mom of 3 1/2 yrs old Joshua. These years have been perfect bliss and a wonderful journey. I is difficult to be a single mom but every moment is worth living.. no regrets

1-10 of 10 comments