Embarrassing Toddler Tales

Julie Ryan Evans

Photo by Julie Ryan Evans
My 15-month-old daughter is a vocal little thing. While she took her time walking, her words have come quickly ... just not always at the best times.

For example, she knows very well who her father is, but has this peculiar habit of yelling, "Daddy! Daddy!" LOUDLY to random men -- usually young, good-looking men -- we encounter at the market, at the gym, anywhere ... and everywhere.

"Honey, that's not your daddy; your daddy is at work," I say loudly enough for them to hear, so they know she does in fact have a daddy of her own and that I'm not some crazy baby-daddy-seeking woman who has trained her daughter to try and find one.

This happens about ... oh, 15,000 times a day, and each time I get embarrassed. Particularly, when we're close enough to one that she grabs a shirt sleeve or something.

Then there are the times when I have both hands full of something, and Lila Claire decides it's time to see mommy's "TUMMY!" or "BELLY BUTTON!" and lifts up my shirt to show the innocent bystanders my far-from-six-pack abs.

And the list goes on. Toddlers can embarrass the hell out of even the thickest-skinned mamas.

BiloxiDreams tells of this cringe-inducing time she was flying alone with her boys, ages 2 and 4: "During our layover in Portland, my oldest had to go to the potty. I sent him to the men's room (there was no one else in there so it was safe) and about three minutes later, he runs out naked! He had sat to go poo and accidentally peed on his pants and underwear!  I rushed over as fast as I could but had no extra clothes for him (so I gave him a diaper of his brother's and his brother's extra pants (a size too small).  He threw a fit over wearing a diaper like a baby. I finally got him to go back in and get his clothes on. But a few minutes later, he walks out without the pants on. He's now mad that they aren't his and too short. So another argument ensues. I swear I'm never flying with the kids without DH again!"

Thebailiffs shares this coffee house happening: "My son went over to the area where the sugar and cream were, picked up the jug of half-and-half, and dumped it over his head in the middle of the shop. The cleanup was unbelievable for the floor and his head. I have not gone back with him to that store."

Perhaps all these embarrassing acts are to prepare us for the embarrassment we'll surely inflict on them during their teenage years.

What has your toddler done to embarrass you?

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