Danger: Toddlers!

Julie Ryan Evans

Photo by Julie Ryan Evans
Last week I found an ugly red spot in my left eye -- a small pool of blood where it should've been white.

I researched a bunch of frightening scenarios before seeing an ophthalmologist. He diagnosed it as a harmless broken blood vessel, which is usually caused by either high blood pressure (mine is very low) or trauma to the eye.

And that's when it hit me ... who had hit me. This "subconjunctival hemorrhage" was likely the doing of my 15-month-old daughter -- the result of one of the endless accidental (usually) incidents that hurt mommy. BAD!

They're deceivingly cute and don't come with warning labels, but the truth is: Toddlers are dangerous.

There's her big hard head that packs such a wallop I've been left seeing stars. There are her flailing limbs that whack me in the most painful of locations regularly, and her innate curiosity to see what will happen when she strikes me with whatever object is in her grasp (e.g., TV remote).

I yelp when her teeth "accidentally" chomp my skin, or her fingernails (which I admittedly suck at cutting) scratch and draw blood. And let me just say, shoes on the feet of toddlers should be classified as weapons.

Georgie0502 confirms that I'm not alone in the battle against toddler battle scars. "My daughter kicks, incessantly. She has this pair of rubber-soled shoes and she was kicking me while I put them on her and left a bruise that stayed for almost three weeks. It hurt so bad to even type, and I'm a secretary!"

Violetgirl has also suffered at the hands (or head, as the case may be) of her toddler. "I swear, these kids' heads are made of bricks! My son bonks his head a lot against my nose, my jaw, anywhere bony. I still have a bruise on my eyebrow from that. Also, he has a habit of excitedly running to me to give me a big hug, but his head reams into my pelvic bone as he does so."

kristileigh112 actually suffered a broken bone at the hands of her toddler. "My 3-year-old was sitting on my lap and threw his head back and broke my nose. Ouch!"

I'm surprised some enterprising entrepreneur hasn't developed a line of protective mommy gear ... perhaps one should.

Have you suffered any battle wounds at the hands of your toddler?

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