Forget everything you're hearing right now about neon pink floral spring trends. Know what's hot? Schlumpy unwashed jeans and t-shirts, apparently. Kristen Stewart won Best Dressed Woman in Glamour magazine's reader poll! For the second year in a row, might I add. They love her "personal rock-chick style," natch.

Emma Watson was the runnerup, and Kate Middleton was a perplexing third place. And no, today is not opposite day. I know what you're thinking -- "Why don't I get this much attention from wearing Converse sneakers and stained hoodies?" Because your personal rock-chick style is missing some inexplicable magic, i.e. Twilight pixie dust. But hey, Kristen cleans up well for red carpet events, too, when she wants to. Let's remember some of her best ensembles or, um, whatever you call 'em.

When it came time to register for my baby shower, I couldn't believe the massive amount of STUFF that was out on the market for babies. Diamond-encrusted pacifiers? Silk sheets? For babies?

The baby commerce trap is wide and just waiting to swallow you whole, all in the name of making sure your baby has the BEST childhood ever.

Sadly, I'm not just talking about the internal debate over whether your baby really needs a warm glow cast on her wipes before they touch her delicate behind (she doesn't). At least your standard wipes warmer won't cost you your firstborn. A hand-crafted Italian leather diaper bag, on the other hand, will set you back more than $1,000 for something your kid will ultimately puke on.

Think that's nuts? That's nothing compared to a $17,000 pacifier! And I'm just getting started.

Celebrity kids, just like their parents, live on a different planet than you or I. They don't just have a birthday party with a boxed cake and pin the tail on the donkey and call it a day. They go big. Really big. It's actually a little gross, but hey, they're not the ones to blame. (And if someone bought you a $100,000 treehouse as a 6-year-old, would you turn it down?)

Prepare to be slack-jawed, everyone. Here are 10 of the most spoiled celebrity kids.

Aww! Would you believe they have a crying baby contest in Japan? Yep, it's pretty much exactly what it sounds like, and it's somewhat of a tradition over there.

It's called the Naki Sumo, and it's basically a ceremony where two sumo wrestlers stand in a ring across from each other while holding babies who were born in the previous year. The object of "the game" is to make their opponent's baby cry -- and even though it sounds kind of miserable for the poor babies, it's been done for over 400 years and is meant as a prayer for the baby's healthy growth.

I bet you didn't think you'd become a gymnast or a dancer or a mime after you had a baby, did you? Well, guess what? Unbeknownst to you, you did! No, you're not getting paid for this new-found skill, and don't hope to make any Olympic teams in the near future, but once you have a child, you acquire a unique skill set only bestowed unto parents.

Behold! The 6 wondrous physical feats moms can perform once they have kids!

There are hundreds of things that cause us to itch uncontrollably, but recent research claims that we should be blaming one newly discovered nerve receptor called MrgprA3. Its only job appears to be to make us itch. So annoying!

Still, we can't forget to address the origin of the itch that's setting the nerve receptor off in the first place. Here, six sneaky culprits behind chronic itching ...

Farrah Abraham. What with her infamous sex tape and recent DUI, even if you don't watch the MTV show Teen Mom, you probably have heard of her. (If you haven't, you're a better man than I.)

I don't think I need to tell you that Farrah is a really bad role model -- a terrible one, actually -- but here's the thing: She's hilarious. Side-splittingly hysterical. When she opens her mouth and starts making sentences, magic happens. Don't believe me? Here are Farrah Abraham's 10 dumbest quotes.

Let's face it: All pregnancy portraits are awkward. Your belly is huge, and there's no getting around it. In fact, that's part of the fun! But there's awkward, and then there's dear God was that YOUR idea?!? awkward. Some pregnancy portraits are, let's say, so creative we have to LOL. Here's a few favorites we've seen lately. It goes without saying that all of these women are beautiful mamas. But the portrait concepts? Hilarious.