POSTS WITH TAG: discipline

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    Even before her new book, Keep Calm & Parent On: A Guilt-Free Approach to Raising Children by Asking More From Them and Doing Less, hit shelves earlier this week, Emma Jenner found herself at the epicenter of ardent debate among moms. All because her article for The Huffington Post, which details the "modern parenting crisis," struck some parents as controversial (to say the least!).

    As a reality star on TLC's Take Home Nanny, child development and child behavioral specialist, and founder of consulting service Emma’s Children, Jenner has studied and worked with children for 17 years. Upon noticing that the same parenting mistakes were arising among family after family, she decided it was time to share her approach with the masses. 

    Emma spoke with The Stir about the biggest mistakes parents are making today, what they can do to be happier and more effective, and of course all those tongues clucking about kids' right to choose their own sippy cup colors.

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    No matter how much of an angel your child is, there is going to come a day when you're out shopping with her and she decides to go bananas in a store and knock every bottle of shampoo off the counter. There will be no warning; not even a split second for you to cut the serpent by its head before it attacks. You'll be left with a floor filled with shampoo bottles, a child in the middle of having a wicked tantrum, and no other choice than to dole out a punishment -- pronto.

    If when this happens to you, whatever you decide to do, DO NOT do what two parents in New Mexico did to their 5-year-old while at a Home Depot: locking her in their hot truck unattended for ONE HOUR while they went shopping.

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    We hear often enough that it takes a village to raise a child. But some people seem to take that a little too literally. Take the supermarket cashier who slapped a customer's 4-year-old son for throwing a bag on the ground.

    Mom Selina Johnson sounded off about the incident on social media. Her complaints seem to have lost the cashier -- a woman in her 50s -- her job on the checkout line. And they've opened up a debate about unruly kids in public ... and who has the right to discipline them.

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    Whether they're yelling while you're on an important phone call, interrupting you while you talk to a friend, or shouting far louder than you can stand while you're trying to enjoy your morning coffee, kids can wear you down. So much so that you reach your breaking point and scream, "Shut up!"

    And then you immediately feel guilty that you've scarred your kid for life.

    We've all been there. But exactly how worried should we be? Could we be doing some kind of serious damage to our kids with one little phrase?

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    Pulling out the time-out chair works like magic for some families, but for others, not so much. Whether it’s because Mom and Dad are philosophically against time-outs, or because time-outs simply aren't working on your kid, they're certainly not the only way to manage your child's bad behavior. The biggest thing parents can do to steer their child's behavior in a positive direction? Start with themselves. "The most effective practice any parent can take on in order to shift their children’s behavior is for Mom and Dad to get a hold of themselves first," says Lisa McCrohan, compassion coach psychotherapist at Georgetown University. "In any stressful situation, if we want our children to learn effective emotional regulation and make good choices, then we as parents have to be the ones to model it."

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    Once your toddler starts talking, it's hard to get her to stop. Soon enough, she'll start associating words with the reaction they get, even if she's not quite sure what they mean. The first time she drops that F-bomb, you might be completely taken aback. After all, your cherub-cheeked baby couldn't possibly know what that means, right?

    Chances are, she doesn't. But if you express shock or even laughter, you've given her the kind of reaction she's going to want to get again. So she might continue to use that inappropriate word -- on the playground, at preschool, at church, in the supermarket.

    The good news is there's a way to curb cursing before it gets worse. Here's how to handle it, according to Amy Morin, a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist in Lincoln, Maine.

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    The conventional wisdom about parenting has typically been that more lenient parents are likely to have kids who behave badly, while those who are stricter are most likely keeping their children in check. Turns out, the opposite may be true, according to new research from the European Institute of Studies on Prevention. The study, conducted in six European countries and aimed at finding out what parenting style works best to prevent drug use, founds that kids, aged 11 to 19, with strict parents were more likely to use drugs like marijuana, tobacco, and alcohol.

    The researchers' conclusion? Surprise, surprise! Striking a happy balance between being a dictator and trying to be a kid's BFF.

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    If you ask a room full of parents how they discipline their young kids, many are bound to say they use the time-out method. Why? Because it can work. Can being the operative word here. If you ask that same group of parents if time-outs have been completely effective in curbing their kids' negative behavior, a smaller percentage will likely raise their hands. What are these parents doing wrong? Why isn't time-out working for them?

    Odds are, they aren't using this strategy correctly.

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    Believe it or not, "helicopter parenting" dates back to 1969 when it was first used in Haim Ginott's book Between Parent & Teenager. In the book, teens used the term to describe parents who would hover over them like helicopters. But it wasn't until three years ago that the phrase landed itself in the dictionary -- an indication that it is that much of a problem these days.

    Even well-meaning parents who shuttle their kids to a plethora of after-school activities and keep a close watch on them at the playground could be doing a world of damage by "overparenting." "While good in its intentions to prevent children from experiencing pain, helicopter parenting can have serious negative consequences, resulting in children lacking essential life skills," says Kim Painter, Ph.D., a child and family psychologist in New Jersey.

    Here, 8 ways the overzealous parenting style is hurting our kids.

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    Another day, another interesting receipt hitting the internet. This time, a Japanese restaurant in Calgary, Canada discounted parents $5 for their "well-behaved kids" on Mother's Day. While it's nice(ish) to see a restaurant receipt that has something positive to say about children, as opposed to incredibly rude and nasty comments, this really isn't necessary.

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