If you've been wondering about whether watching "sexually explicit media" will speed up your teen's sex life, wonder no more: According to a study from the Netherlands, teenagers who are exposed to racy content are "more likely than other teens to have sex for money and to try new sexual behaviors." Aha! Numbers don't lie! And these numbers are ... wait a minute. Apparently only 0.3 to 4 percent of the differences in "behaviors" were linked to watching sexy media. Whoa, that's some staggering evidence right there. (And what's up with "sex for money" being an actual thing for teens in the Netherlands?!)

Look, I get it. No matter how pragmatic and/or progressive we might be as parents, none of us really wants to think about our kids having active sex lives. Or anything remotely close to active sex lives. So some of us go out of our way to try and figure out what we can do/avoid to stop that from happening.

That fabled mama bear instinct is real. You know the one: Mess with a mother's child and prepare to have your ass handed to you. In the most recent example, a Missouri woman was found guilty of beating her son's drug dealer with a baseball bat. Crazy, right?

When I walked into the White House Science Fair, I expected to meet incredibly brilliant kids. I was not disappointed. Among the budding scientists President Obama honored were teens who created a bicycle-powered, emergency water sanitation system, and another who developed a low-cost, robotic prosthetic arm. Though, the most impressive presenters may have been the youngest: Evan Jackson, 10, Caleb Robinson, 8, and Alec Jackson, 8. It wasn't just their project that impressed, it was the story of how they got there. There was no science teacher or school administrator who inspired these boys, it was their mothers. Women who work full time with no science background dedicated nights to encouraging their kids to invent something that was in league with much older students. It's just proof that we moms are more powerful than we think when it comes to giving our kids the best chances in life.

Of all the ways to deal with teenage rebellion, I think the best I've heard so far is President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama's strategy, revealed on the Today show this morning:

"What we’ve said to the girls is, 'If you guys ever decided you’re going to get a tattoo, then mommy and me will get the exact same tattoo in the same place. And we’ll go on YouTube and show it off as a family tattoo.' And our thinking is that might dissuade them from thinking that somehow that’s a good way to rebel."

Brilliant! Every teen's worst fear is being embarrassed, especially by his or her parents (my daughter's almost 12 and already I'm getting the panicked tugs on my sleeve and death glare when she thinks I'm about to say something reputation-damaging in front of her friends). The Obamas' genius idea got us thinking ... what other forms of teenage rebellion could potentially be curbed by the threat of parental humiliation?

Girls have gone wild, yet again. This time, an Indiana sorority is under fire for a homeless-themed party. If you are one of those perpetually positive thinking parents who are envisioning a charity event where the coeds brought attention to the plight of those less fortunate, you would be dead wrong. Indiana University's Kappa Deltas smudged dirt on their faces and begged for food, money, and prayers. That's not all.

Oh good grief. A teenage girl described as a good student with a clean record just got expelled and arrested for what even her principal says was a "science experiment" gone wrong. If you've got a budding scientist at home, you might want to warn them that common sense has officially been kicked out of the education system. 

Why else would a school call in the cops for something they're supposed to be teaching kids to do?

My wife's clock radio starts blaring at 6:30 every morning just as the kids are slowly stirring from their slumber. The news of the day is usually tame -- weather, politics, business -- but some mornings, it's all tragedy. Hours of it. Tragedy so plainly wrought that I wonder if I shouldn't throw the clock radio out the window.

So how do we talk to kids about this stuff? How do we hide the news when it comes at us from all angles? How do we keep a plugged-in generation in the dark? Should we?

I posted this picture on Facebook over the weekend. It was met with countless "how did you manage to capture all three of them?" and "that's a miracle!" responses.

Yes, folks, after five years of unsuccessfully attempting to capture all three of my kids in the same frame, I've finally discovered the secret behind it. Well, five of them. And it's your lucky day, because I'm sharing ...