POSTS WITH TAG: back to school

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    A school board in Florida thinks it's time to institute a dress code dagnabit. Nothing weird about that, right? School boards have been instituting dress codes for centuries. But, see, this dress code is for the parents, not the students.

    School board member Rosalind Osgood feels like it's a fool's errand to try to tell kids to stop wearing things like baggy pants, short shorts, and curlers in their hair when that's exactly how their parents are dressed when they pick them up. "Parents need to lead by example," she said. A fairly difficult sentiment to argue with, but I think Osgood is forgetting something.

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    We turn on the news and see images of the conflict in Syria, but we have the liberty to shut off the TV, walk out the door, and not be in the midst of the crisis. We perhaps are somewhat desensitized by what we see on television -- or our inner defense mechanisms protect us from delving deep into who the conflict is affecting. People. With faces and names and stories just like us. And children. They are living in the horror, amongst the bombs, suffering. Dying.

    Save the Children UK created a chilling 94-second video showing the transformation of one child's life as war breaks out where she lives. I didn't think seeing it would give me the range of emotions that it did. Watch it and see what I mean.

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    Children's food allergies are no joke. As the parent of a child who is allergic to nuts, I appreciate the fact my son's school is nut-free. I think it's wonderful that classrooms across the country take the health threat seriously. However, even I have to admit that some schools take things too far. Case in point: a daycare in Ottawa suspended a 2-year-old for three days because she was in possession of a cheese sandwich. The situation is even more ridiculous once you learn the details.

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    I am all for coddling our little kids a bit. I mean, who wants their pre-teen to know about all the horrors this world has to offer. There should be some innocence, some wonder (if the Internet hasn't already killed it). But some people take the over-protective thing too far. A middle school in Lake County, Florida has banned teachers from giving out the grade "zero" because it is "overly negative to the student." They don't want the kids feeling bad about it. But shouldn't they?

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    High school student Kobe Nelson was recently suspended for two days after instigating a fight with another student. Okay, cool, fair enough, right? It's understandable that the administration would take action when it comes to disciplining a combative student. The only problem? Kobe didn't start the fight. In fact, a cellphone video shot of the whole encounter brought to light by Kobe's dad shows Kobe doing everything he can to get out of the situation without contributing to the violence.

    It's one of the few occasions I can think of where any parent finds themselves thinking, Thank god for cellphones. The proof of his son's total lack of involvement combined with talks he had confirming what he'd already seen was all Kobe's dad needed to hear. He went after not just the bully, but the entire school with a total vengeance.

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    The war on tobacco in America is gradually being won by the non-smoker -- and good for them. Everyone knows that cigarettes (while delicious) are deadly things. I say this as a former smoker. I say this as the granddaughter of a woman who smoked until her death, a broad who used to call them 'coffin nails.' Cigarettes will kill you. It is not news.

    I say I'm a former smoker, but like an alcoholic, though I'm a year down the pike, I'm tempted to say that in my heart, whether or not I'm actually holding a cigarette to my lips, I'll always be a smoker. I started relatively late. I was 17 when I had my first cigarette. Studies say that if a teen makes it to 19 without trying a cigarette -- they are significantly less likely to pick up the habit ever. I just made the cut. Lucky me (she said, dripping with sarcasm).

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    When you're little, life is one giant adventure. Ice cream can give you headaches?! Bees sting?! The lessons we sometimes have, uh, forced on us change our lives -- very often for the better. This was definitely the case for one little boy. When he learned that his teacher hadn't been feeling well, he leaped into action, like a superhero of sorts. Surely the source of her ailment could be cured by the scientific fact about the body he had just learned. That fact? Pooping makes you feel better. Indeed, this boy was the Batman of Bowel Movements.

    You heard it here first, folks. Ain't no thang a little time dedicated to the intestinal mambo can't fix. I don't know which part of this note he wrote is better -- the fact that he shares his tips with such exuberance, or the fact that he thought absolutely nothing of sharing his "discovery" with his beloved teacher. Boys will be boys, I guess. And boys are as wonderful as they are disgusting.

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    Here's proof that just because you get a job at a school doesn't mean you should be working around children. A lunch lady has been arrested -- and fired from her job -- after allegedly paying kids $1 to beat up another fourth grader!

    The 9-year-old victim had allegedly insulted the cafeteria worker, swearing at her and using a nasty name, but that doesn't excuse the adult's bad behavior here. That's what referral slips and a trip to the principal's office is for!

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    When I was a kid -- way back in the stone ages when we walked 20 miles uphill to get to school -- you did a whole lot of coloring in school. In fact, come to think of it, that may have been all we did for one straight year. Picked our noses, took naps, and colored. You too? Yup, seems like we all did, but in news that will make you feel like grabbing a can of Metamucil, it seems those days are over for kids.

    First cursive got kicked out, now it's the crayons? Yes, indeedy do, schools are dropping coloring from the curriculum!

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    Every day at school drop off I have to write down on a whiteboard if my child is eating school lunch or home lunch. We are school lunch people. There are home lunch people. To my surprise, lots of them. Being on the school lunch people list makes me feel like a bad mom. I fail to lovingly prepare turkey and cheese sandwiches cut in hearts. I don’t supply cute Hello Kitty lunch boxes with the carrots cut just so and the celery is perfectly ready to dip into the homemade hummus carefully wrapped in a little jar.  

    I do all those things though. Except the homemade hummus. I just don’t do them on school days. But then I think of the “institutional” meats and bread that isn’t 298 grain and the milk that isn’t organic, the eggs that come from who-knows-what-fed chickens and the exposure to juice that isn’t freshly squeezed and I feel guilty, guilty, guilty. 

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