When Boys Touch Themselves


underwearFunny. I had just posted a story on Oprah's controversial episode about talking to girls about sex--and masturbation, when I read this:

My stepson is 8-years-old. For the last year, he grabs at himself all the time, and sometimes will have his hand down the front of his pants, playing with himself. I tell him to stop doing that at least 5 times every day. I feel like with him getting older, he shouldn't be doing that... He doesn't have a rash or isn't wearing any kind of underwear or pants that could be making him itch, so I'm very concerned about the reason.. Anyone else's kids do this?--PeytonsMom21109

Uh, yeah. As a mother of two boys--3 and 5--I've witnessed my share of this. But like GrnEyedGrandma (who's raised two boys herself) added, "It's so normal it isn't funny. Remind him that touching himself is his private business and needs to be done in private.. Also make him wash his hands..a lot."

Well said.

Does your son idly put his hands "down there?"


behavior, elementary school


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

sockfeet sockfeet

Masturbation at any age is normal and healthy and is always a private endeavour. It is important to recognize that, in addition to exploration, self pleasure and stress relief, some children masturbate because they are anxious or upset. Also, since children will absorb their parents attitudes towards masturbation, it is important that the messages they receive help them develop a healthy atttitude toward themselves and their sexuality.

lione... lionessprideof2

I saw this thread and HAD to comment.  When my son was in preschool, during "reading circle" he not only was touching himself but pulled it right out of his pants to touch it!!!  I was so embarrassed when this was told to me by the teacher, but I know that it's completely normal for boys to touch themselves (and alot).  Both of my boys have done this and continue to do this.  They have been told that there is nothing wrong with it, but they do need to keep it private.  They are 8 and 9 now and even sleep with their hands in their pants!!   


We teach our children that they may feel like they want to "touch themselves" but it is not allowed in a sexual pleasure way. Sexual behavior is reserved for your spouse only.

Dee1021 Dee1021

Comment by GrnEyedGrandma is very helpful. I knew it was normal, but wanted some advise on what to say to my 3 year old, rather than telling him to take his hands out of his pants all the time.

Thank you!!!

nonmember avatar t

my 5yr old is starting to do this the teacher called and said he has gon to the bathroom 14 times in one day and has also been caught between pillows so embarrasing

nonmember avatar Helen23

I have 3 sons aged 9, 11 and 14 and all three of them have the same habit! Whenever I go into the living room all of them have their hand in their pants. I try to say stop it but they tell me 'it's normal' or 'it's warm!'

Only yesterday I went into the games room at about midnight. All three had crashed out in front of the playstation with their hand in their boxers!!

nonmember avatar hotpete17

after all these years i never stopped but learned to do it in private (or together with some friend(s) ... GREAT !

11-17 of 17 comments First 12