High School Teachers Share the Craziest Things Students Have Said in Class

High school students raising handsThough teens have a way of seeming so independent and ready to take on the world, we're constantly reminded that they're also, well, still kids. High school teachers basically live and breathe this fact. As one high school choir teacher put it, teens can be "so ridiculous, hilarious, and weird." Sure, that's why so many educators absolutely adore working with them, but at the same time, they're most definitely fielding a lot of eyebrow-raising behavior and remarks from their hormonal, sullen, or stunningly bold students.

Here, high school teachers reveal the most jaw-dropping, crazy, funny, and outright bizarre thing a student has said to them ...

  1. "A student asked me to go to Disney World with his family for spring break. He said he'd pay, and I could stay in his room."
  2. "A student I had said that she had never heard of The Beatles. My jaw dropped, and I was speechless for a good 2-3 minutes."
  3. "Kid crying during a movie: 'I'm not crying; my eyes are sweating.'"
  4. "I once had a student ask, 'What would you say if I asked you to prom?' Obviously, my response was no."
  5. "My student asked me why the French peasants couldn't use their food stamps during the Revolution."
  6. "I was asked if I know how to remove skin tags."
  7. "It came up during class that I am vegetarian ... Student raises her hand: 'Can you eat animal crackers?' Class is laughing. She doesn't understand why. I sarcastically respond with a smile, 'No. No, I can't.' Then, 20 minutes later, she raises her hand again. 'You know animal crackers aren't actually animals, right?'"
  8. "In Latin class, talking about word derivatives: 'Did they name spiders after Spider-Man?'"
  9. "We were just finishing up the Civil War unit, and I posed the following question to the class. Me: 'Alright, Lincoln was just assassinated, who is now the President of the United States?' A student confidently shouts out, 'Reagan!' Me: 'Huh, why do you think Reagan?' Student: 'Well, Lincoln was the greatest president, and Reagan was the second greatest.'"
  10. "I have a student who constantly asks me if I want to go get half-priced appetizers at Applebee's."
  11. "I teach environmental science, and we were covering the planets, I was mentioning we can see certain planets from earth -- some with telescopes, some without. A girl raises her hand and, completely seriously, asks me how we discovered earth. Me: '... Uh ... because we are on it?'"
  12. "Me: "So who can tell me, what is penicillin?" Girl (who clearly hadn't done her homework): 'It's the stuff that diabetics stick themselves with.' Me: 'No, that's insulin.' Girl: 'Oh wait, is the the stuff you jab in when someone is having anaphylaxis?' Me: 'Nah, that's Adrenalin.' Girl, after thinking for a second: 'But I swear there is something that starts with a P, and you stick it in.'"
  13. "Student 1: 'Have a good day, sir!' Me: 'Sir?! I'm not that old!' Student 2: 'You're getting there ...'"
  14. "I was teaching 'The White Man's Burden' in conjunction with the novel Things Fall Apart. While the class was discussing the latent racism in the poem, a student raised her hand. 'How did the missionaries get to Africa?' she asked. 'Um, they came in boats,' was my reply. She slapped her desk, saying, 'I knew it! I knew it!' with pride. With a smug grin on her face, she explained: 'See, they say 'ye' in the poem, and that's pirate talk!'"
  15. "While we were reading The Crucible, a girl said, 'Wait! people had sex back then?'"

What is the craziest thing your teen has ever said to you -- or you've heard they said to their teacher?


Image via Corbis

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nonmember avatar Stodrick

I've been teaching middle school for a while, so I have a million of these, but this is the one that sticks out the most to me:
We were talking about slavery and racism in the antebellum South with my group of highly diverse, mixed race 8th graders. One of my girls, herself a minority, raises her hand and asks me if I was part black. I replied that, no, I'm pretty much a European mutt mix of Irish, German, and a few other things. And then I made the fatal mistake: I asked her why she asked. Her response: "Well, I figured you were at least part because I've never seen a white girl with curves like yours!"

LiveL... LiveLongProsper

One of my second graders asked me if I was pregnant. My response was "No, honey, I'm just overweight so my tummy is a little bigger than other tummies." Another student piped up, in an I-told-you-so voice, "Duh, she's not married!"

nonmember avatar kdsue

My dad taught high school physics for years. Some of the best questions he got came from the unit on the Cosmos:

1. So, what's bigger, the universe or the solar system?

2. If you're in a spaceship traveling the speed of light, and you stick your head out the window, what happens?

3. (My all-time favorite) So, where exactly IS the center of the Earth?

nonmember avatar Miss Ann Thrope

If you object to a student calling you "Sir" (which is proper manners) you deserved the snyde comeback.

EmilyH87 EmilyH87

Said to my husband during his first year teaching: "Mr. H! How you know if you gots the syphillis?"

nonmember avatar Rodrian Roadeye

A teacher asked me why Einstein determined that man would never travel faster than the speed of light. I said because he wouldn't be able to see where he was going. The class roared.

Kelly Walters

I was subbing for a first grade class and calling out the roll call when I came to the name Jesús and paused wondering if  I should use the spanish pronunciation of heh-SOOS.  The majority of the class realizing what name I was stuck on all said at the same time, we just call him Roy.

nonmember avatar RICK

I was in high school,and entered biology classroom and this classmate(a girl ) asked the teacher if you could get pregnant by kissing....

nonmember avatar J.I. Wolf

Idiots. Seriously.

nonmember avatar Anon

My husband just told me the other day a senior girl came up to him during class to ask if she could go "change her lady thing." I'm still not sure why she didn't just ask to go to the bathroom.

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