You've put it off for a while, but between their constant air of brooding and demands to borrow the car -- it's become clear. Your teenager is far too old to need a babysitter. Bring out the bells of mourning and don some fresh anxieties, for verily, a new age is born.
When did this happen, and more importantly, how did you almost miss it? To paraphrase our dear friend in growing older, Mr. Ferris Bueller, life moves fast -- if you don't stop and look once in a while, your lovable infant will suddenly be a snarling monster who demands $10 and a ride to the mall. It happens to everyone. Here are 5 signs that your kid's way too old for a 'sitter. Here's hoping they serve as helpful reminders.
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1.) They Perfect the Art of Combining Makeup & Back-Talk
They starting looking like a baby prostitute and acting like drunk wolverines. No babysitter can tame them. At least not for what you're paying.
2.) They Have Friends Who Can Drive
God help us. God help us all.
3.) You Spend More Time Screaming at Them Than Speaking to Them
Would you inflict this on another person?
4.) They Try Acting Out
Forget dinner plans. You've got a stash to protect ... of candy. Yes, that's it -- a candy stash.
5.) They Start Putting On Cologne Before the Sitter Comes Over
Repeat after me: I am not my child's procurer. I am not my child's procurer. Damn that tiny pimp.
When did you know your teen was old enough to be left at home alone?