Mom Teaches Son About 'Consensual Sex' in Twisted Way

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textingSo, you've got a teenage boy leaving for college next year, and you want to make sure he's not one of those guys, the kinds of guys who get drunk and rape drunk girls. We hear a lot about those stories, and for parents they're scary for two reasons. One, you don't want your son to rape a girl, EVER. Two, you don't want your son falsely accused of raping a girl.

One mom of a teenage boy made a strong case for preparing sons to have consensual sex and only consensual sex while way from home. Part of her solution: Get confirmation via text message from a girl before sex. Just in case later on things get, you know, murky. So here's how I see this safe-sext conversation going down. 

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Freddy: Roxy, will you have sex with me?

Roxy: WTF, put your damn phone away

Freddy: No, I have to do this before we have sex. Do you consent to sex with me?

Roxy: You're spoiling the mood

Freddy: But will you

Roxy: Why do you need to do this via text weirdo

Freddy: Just in case you try and accuse me of rape later on

Roxy: O_O

Freddy: LOL

Roxy: That's not even a thing asshole

Freddy: I'm not saying you'd ever do that! I just promised my mom

And so much for Freddy's sex life. This isn't going to work any better than those consensual sex conversations we were all supposed to be happening in the mid-90s. (Anyone else remember?) Sex doesn't work like that. Worse, this little exercise teaches boys that girls lie about consensual sex -- that there's some duplicitous/flaky/psycho vixen out there waiting to trap your DS with false rape allegations. But the truth is, false rape allegations are extremely rare

We need to stop telling our sons that false rape accusations are a thing, because they're not. But binge drinking? That is definitely a thing. And it's a much bigger problem. Before the "misunderstanding" about sex there is the alcohol. Before it gets to that (whatever THAT is) we need to work on teaching our kids not to get crazy drunk -- our daughters and our sons. Or is that too awkward and uncomfortable a conversation?

What kinds of conversations about alcohol have you had with your teen, if any?


Image via Ken Banks/Flickr




dating, drugs & alcohol, sex


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nonmember avatar OkayMama

I can understand what she's attempting to do, but at the same time I have to say that's not even gonna pass in court. Doesn't take much to get a hold of someone's phone and send a text message to another phone. Why do I know this? Same ploy was pulled by the man that raped my cousin. Drugged her, left her unconscious and then borrowed her phone to text himself.

That being said, all people need to learn not to rape and also not to falsely accuse.

adamat34 adamat34

O my. What happened to teaching right from wrong???

This is sad sad sad.....

Sirena Robinson

I'm sorry, and I may be very unpopular for saying this, but here's my opinion. In a situation where two people are DRUNK and have sex, either they were both raped or neither were. If a female is incapable of consenting just because she's drunk, then a man is also incapable. Drunk people make stupid decisions. End of story. Period. A woman is not less culpable for those decisions than a man and a man is not automatically a rapist because the woman he slept with doesn't remember what happened the next morning. No, having sex with someone unconscious is NEVER okay and is ALWAYS rape, but this? Nope. Absolutely not. If you're both drunk, it's not rape. It's a bad decision. Own up to it.

Elaine Cox

link to the huffpost? lol...and wasnt miss velez just praising a rapist earlier today?...and if you think its rare then not a lot to say and sirena pretty much hits it on the easy when someone actually thinks and not just rehashes talking points

nonmember avatar LainaDG

If just a quarter of the people on this earth today had the common sense Sirena has we would be in much better shape.

nonmember avatar CaliBeauty

@Sirena...i'm glad you said this because this is exactly what needs to be discussed much more...every situation is not deserving of a cry of "rape"...there are realities wherein women do have to share in the responsibility...and no, i don't mean women/teens getting drugged or forcibly made to drink...

nonmember avatar NotSugarCoated

But false accusations do happen! And if we ignore that they happen then we create more of a reason for someone to falsly accuse because they know that everyone will believe the them.

What we should be teaching is that rape is a very serious crime, that should be handled with a through investagation, and strict punishment. That no one (male or female) should ever touch anyone sexually without proper consent, that is too young, or unable to consent. I will teach both my son and daughter this as anyone can be a victim, and anyone can be an agressor.

crunc... crunchymomma87

I know several men that were falsely accused of rape and several women who have made false accusations. None of these were reported to the police, so there wouldn't be record of it. But their social interactions and relationships suffered through the experience.  Most of the times the girls were either feeling guilty because they were intoxicated, didn't remember because they were intoxicated,  or covering for a "mistake" to their significant other. Some girls just crave attention, negative or otherwise. I think you're downplaying the impact a false rape accusation can have on someones life, even without jail time.


miche... micheledo

Sirena - I completely agree!

nonmember avatar K-Li

Fires, tornadoes, and floods are also extremely rare. However, they do happen to someone, and they destroy lives when they happen. In the face of this, reasonable people take available precautions to minimize the damage. This is no different.

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