If you're reading this, that means you haven't watched this new video by teen singer, Alison Gold, called "Chinese Food." I say that because if you are reading, that means you've still got your eyes. I do not. I am typing this from memory. Also, where my ears once were there are now only bleeding gashes. Additionally, if you still have ears to hear something strange, it's the sound of me screaming until my lungs give out and I die.
Too much? THEN CLEARLY YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED THIS VIDEO. In the grand tradition of Rebecca Black before her (and from the same creators), Alison Gold has taken awkwardly to the Internet to sing about her love of Chinese food. I can hear you now -- who can fault her for that, Chinese food is delicious. Sure okay.
The problem with such a sentiment is that this song is as racist as it is annoying. And it is extremely annoying. You can forgive Alison to a degree and excuse her involvement -- she's a clueless kid. But her parents should have known better than to allow their daughter to be involved in a video that distilled all of Asian (not just Chinese) culture to reductive stereotypes.
If that's not enough of a compelling argument against the video, Rebecca Black went through some major bullying when her song came out. The Internet loved "Friday" for all the wrong reasons. Knowing about that debacle, why would her parents think this was a good idea?
The obvious answer? Fame. Because who doesn't want a famous child, I ask you. Obviously they all grow into healthy, socially well-adjusted adults eager to contribute to this great society of ours. To be clear -- that was sarcasm. Normally I'm clearer, but without my eyes or ears, I have begun to second guess my abilities. This video is better than becoming infamous in other ways I guess, but it's still wretched.
Do you think Alison's parents should have stopped her from participating?
Image via YouTube.com