I have sympathy for child stars that grow up in the spotlight. Even the ones that make it out ok still have to deal with a huge amount of public scrutiny during the most awkward time of their lives -- right down to speculation on their sex lives or lack thereof.
Even when they try to remain private about that aspect of their lives, something usually comes out. Like Daniel Radcliffe's penchant for older women. Back in 2008, he admitted to losing his virginity to a much older woman. He said the age difference “wasn’t ridiculous,” but it “would freak some people out.”
And that’s when my mom brain kicks in and I ask myself, Holy moly, what must his mother think?? Because I’m not so sure I’d be ok with my teenager broadcasting to the world that they’d lost their V-card to a potentially age-inappropriate partner.
Call me a prude, but I’m not sure I’d be ok with my teenager having sex at all.
I’m not in denial. I know that the average age for losing your virginity in the U.S. is right around 17 years. I know that “good kids” that make those purity pledges are probably just as likely to have sex as any other teenager. I know that someday, both of my daughters will have sex, whether it’s when I want (wedding night, anyone?) or on their own timing.
One thing I do want for my girls (hopefully on their wedding nights) when they do find that person to become completely physically intimate with is that it’s someone they love with their whole hearts, and who loves them back.
Sure awkward first times make good cocktail party stories and sitcom plot lines, but I want something more for my girls. I don’t want them to feel like having sex for the first time is something to get out of the way or even a rite of passage. I want them to treat it like it’s the most special, precious gift they could ever give to someone and guard it accordingly.
I want them to understand their worth to the point where they don’t feel the need for sexual validation to feel like they matter.
That’s why it’s funny to me when Daniel Radcliffe makes waves by announcing that he lost his virginity to a much older woman. Because the part of the story I took away from that was -- he was only 16? Oyza.
Are you comfortable with your teen being sexually active?
Image via chewypopcorn/Flickr