Teen Moms Should Be Forced to Live at Home With Their Parents

Rant 38

Teen Mom 2 Chelsea Houska's daughter AubreeTeen Mom 2's Chelsea Houska's parents supported her even after she got pregnantWhen politicians are stuck trying to legislate good parenting, it always makes me heartsick. A proposal to force teen moms to live with their parents is no different.

Shouldn't that be a given? If your kid gets pregnant, they don't stop being your kid!

The proposal comes out of Britain, where a group of MPs (Members of Parliament) are concerned that public funds given to teen moms are actually encouraging teen pregnancy. Essentially they say teens get pregnant because they want to move out, and those monies enable them to do it.

It's a fair point.

But what kind of parent lets their pregnant teenager move out of the house? What kind of parent doesn't want their kid to be home at one of the most difficult times of their lives?

I don't want to think of my daughter ever ending up pregnant as a teenager. It's why I believe in talking about birth control with your kids (as well as encouraging they wait a good long time to have sex ... yes, abstinence SHOULD still be encouraged, but we have to be realistic).

But let's say it happens.

It could. Unfortunately.

There is no set "type" of girl who ends up pregnant as a teenager. The girl who had a bun in the oven in the class behind me was from a so-called "good" family. She was highly intelligent and motivated. Still, she got pregnant.

The truth is, every parent of a daughter needs to consider what they would do if their child got pregnant. Would you throw them out? Would you want them to stay home so you could help them with the baby?

Consider this: Right here in America, 67 percent of teen mothers who moved out of their own families’ household live below the poverty level. At least 63 percent of teen mothers receive some type of public benefits within the first year after their children were born, and less than one quarter receive any sort of child support from their child's father.

Teen moms who move out don't tend to do well.

Teen moms who have supportive parents, on the other hand, tend to have better outcomes, as do their children. Just look at Teen Mom 2 star Chelsea Houska. Her father in particular has received criticism for coddling his daughter, but Houska is one of the few stars of the show to have a clean track record when it comes to tabloid scandals. And her daughter, little Aubree, is obviously well cared for and seems to be on track development-wise. She's well-spoken and smart as a whip. 

That's significant when you consider the statistics from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy show "children born to mothers younger than 18 years old score significantly worse on measures of school readiness including math and reading tests."

Parenting a teen parent is depressing. It's disheartening. It can make you feel like you failed as a mom or dad.

But these things happen. The true test of a good parent is how you handle it. Do you turn your kid out or do you continue to be THEIR parent in their time of crisis?

For the good of our kids and their kids, teen parents should be living at home. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Do you think parents should be required to keep their kids at home when they become teen parents?

 

Image via MTV

sex, tough topics, teen mom

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kelti... kelticmom

Absolutely.  A 15 year old girl does not become an adult just because she has given birth. She is still a child. Who has a child. And both her and the grandchild are the parent's responsibility. She may have made a mistake and gotten pregnant, but that does not negate the responsibility that her parents have in continuing to shelter and raise her until she is mature and financially stable enough to do it on her own.

nonmember avatar Kelly

So, if these teens are still children, should the parents then still make medical decisions? If so, then parents would be able to force these children to have abortions or force them to have a baby they may not want. This article is heading towards a slippery slope and if you are not careful you might start sounding like a republican - GASP!

Betha... BethanyCO6777

Thats assuming they have a loing and supportive family. You hear stories about girls who parents actualy kick them out when they find out their pregnant, and Im sure there are all kinds of horribe parents who dont go to that extreeme. Yes, they are still technichally children, legally. But being home with Mom and Dad (or one or the other) is NOT always the best solution. I wish it were, and we lived in a world where people cherished every child (ttenaged or no) and respected them as human beings, but sadly, this is not always the case.

Ms.Li... Ms.LishaJ

This is ignorant. If she was grown enough to lay down and get pregnant, that is now her responsibility. They should not impose on the parents.

Theresa Horne

I moved out at 17 and had my daughter at 18.  I've never been back home and 19 years later, my daughter is a well adjusted college student.  Is she perfect?  No.  Does she drive me crazy?  Absolutely.  I've talked about sex since she was 5 and when she got a serioud boyfriend I insisted she get on birth control.  She wasn't happy, but I refused to compromise. 

Short... ShortAndFeisty

If you're old enough to make a baby, you should be old enough to care for it on your own. I lived in a household with a sibling that had a baby at 17 and then again at 20--my mother, a single parent herself, allowed her to stay both times. To this day, 2.5 children later (one currently on the way) my sister is STILL dependent on my mother in one way or another. It completely throws the family dynamic and places a burden on the grandparents (who may have done everything they could to prevent it including placing their daughter on birth control).

From that moment, at 14 myself, I took a backseat to my sister's children--my mother became a second mother to my sister's kids. I didn't ask to live with a screaming infant (although, I love them both and their super sweet kids who aren't to blame). I ended up having to get a job at 15, working for any expense that I may have accrued, putting myself through college since any monies went to my sister and her child(ren).

In the end, it's made me fiercely independent, which I appreciate. However, having lived through it myself, should my daughter decide to become a teen mom (I'm not talking about rape, here, that's a completely different circumstance) after I've educated her on safe sex and ways to prevent pregnancy should she choose to be sexually active, best believe she would be on her own. My other children won't suffer because of the decisions of their sibling. 

nonmember avatar liza

Granted It's not what we want for our kids at a young age I think.it depends on the situation. Although yes they should stay at home but things will.change.

If your daughter gets pregnant at 15 she can't legally get her own place and she can't get a job easily if at all. So IMHO it's better for them to stay at home til they can legally get their own place.

nonmember avatar lisakphillips

@MSLishaJ - What if she wasn't laying down? If she got pregnant standing or doggy-style would that be okay?

since... sincerelyjessxo

I can honestly say I've never heard of a teenage girl getting pregnant so she can receive aid and move out. Is that a joke, seriously? I think it's nice for the parents to be supportive and help but not really their responsibility.

Elaine Cox

And both her and the grandchild are the parent's responsibility

um no..she is her parents till she gets 18 but the grandchild is in no way their responsibilty not legally anyway..

my parents put it plain..you wanna play grown up we treat you grown up

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