10 Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter

Mom Moment 32

teenagers datingRight now, my daughter has a lot of boy friends. Notice the space. Boys are her friends. They have playdates in our backyard and giggle over popsicles. As a mom who remembers all too well how painful the drama with girlfriends can be, I'm glad she enjoys her friendships with boys. But I'm not exactly holding out hope that this will last forever. One day my daughter will begin to date.

The way it looks now, she will likely date boys (although if it's girls, her father and I are fine with that too). I'm not ready yet, but I'm getting there. But before any boy comes a'knockin', he might want to prepare himself ... we've got rules for dating our teenage daughter:

1. No means no. Her father and I have been teaching her that she has the right to say "when" ever since she was young enough to be out of our sight. And she has my full permission to knee you in the nuts if you don't listen.

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2. An open door means an OPEN door. Not a door that isn't locked but is technically closed. Not a door that is so close to closed that you can't see in (but you could push open). Open. Period.

3. Condoms are not optional. I'm not an idiot; eventually my daughter will have sex. Hopefully it's later rather than sooner. But no matter what she's using for protection, you're using something too, buddy.

4. There is such thing as too much PDA. You will want to kiss. Hug. Hold hands. I get it. I was young once. But if you're groping my teenage daughter in public, she will be in trouble, and I will be telling your mother.

5. Keep your hands off her neck. I'm not just talking about violence (this should be a given). I'm talking about the boys who walk around the mall with one hand wrapped 'round the back of his girlfriend's neck. My daughter is not a dog; she does not need a collar.

Rules for dating my daughter6. Don't honk. You have two hands and two legs. Use them to get your hind end out of the car and walk to the door when you're picking her up.

7. Don't break curfew. If she breaks curfew, even if it's your fault, she will be in trouble. If you "lurv" her so much, you won't want her to get in trouble, will you?

8. Don't lie. To her. To me. To your parents. Everyone is much more likely to forgive if you just start with the truth.

9. She's smart. Get over it. Her father and I have worked hard to make sure she knows her smarts are valuable. We're not going to let you convince her she's nothing more than her pretty face.

10. She's comfortable in her skin. Let's keep it that way. If you're not attracted to all of my daughter, and you want to pick apart her weight or chest size, hit the road Jack, and don't you dare come back. She doesn't need you to tear down her self esteem.

Follow these, and I promise I won't let my husband pull out the "I've got a shotgun and a shovel" line my dad used on him. Well ... maybe ...

Do you have rules for the boys who date your daughter? What are they?


Image via © iStock.com/Geber86



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SaphireH SaphireH

That's the basic jist of what i have for my daughter but its not her dad they have to fear its me and her grandpa they will fear

NatAndCo NatAndCo

Why is it never "10 Rules for Dating my Teenage Son"? Like 1.) My son is not your slave so don't treat him like he is. You have two legs just like he does, feel free to go get your own shit. 2.) If you show up dressed innapropriately you will be making a U-turn at the door. 3) I didn't raise my son to be your personal chauffeur... feel free to look up the bus schedule. etc etc...

Brain... BrainyMommy

Such lists are stupid. If you have to come up with a list, then your daughter is probably terrible at picking boyfriends. A girl skilled at picking a boyfriend doesn't need "lists". 

It also sounds like your daughter is young, so I find it disheartening to see that you're placing pressure on her to be heterosexual. How about starting off your list by saying that you'll love her whether she dates a boy or a girl? That's a better message than most of what appears in this list or any variation.

And, if your husband pulls out the "shotgun and shovel" story, then I hope he's arrested for assault, required to take anger management classes, and receives a felony record, eliminating his ability to own a firearm. 

nonmember avatar MamaD

I agree with NatandCo there should be rules for dating our sons just like our daughters I have three kids two boys and one girl so I'm gonna be in both boats once there older, I have already made it clear to all three of my kids that No means no period... And a far as my boys my main thing is they shall never even in self defense place a finger on any girl ! For m daughter the only thing is that any guy who asks for he hand to date has to know is she's not his belonging she's just on loan from myself n hubby we only ask that u respect her and don't bring her down

nonmember avatar Pink Mommy

@Nat and Co-As a mother of a son, I totally agree! Yes there are jerk guys out there. But there are also girls that are manipulative and controlling. I will teach my son to be respectful of women. But the girls need to be taught to be respectful of others as well. This double standard stuff bugs me.

nonmember avatar Jenna

Ohhh paaalease lady above me!! This is a perfectly suitable list for this woman's ideal respect and few simple guidelines she feels is appropriate for a young man to follow to date HER daughter. Anger management seriously and arrested for assault and receive a felony record?! Haha for what?! Being a protective caring genuine father? He would be speaking a point not actually doing ir get real. I found this article a mom reality and humerous and true. Get a life ridiculous over analysts

Austi... AustinRonMommy

@BrainyMommy clearly you didn't read everything. The author stated in the beginning that they wouldn't care if thier daughter dated girls. As for the I've got a shotgun and shovel story...when I was 16 my dad threatened to kill my bf if hr ever abused me and to maim him if he got me pregnant before I graduated. My dad has never displayed any acts of violence toward anyone...but when it's your daughter you'll threateb if needed. I'd do the same things if it came to it with my boys.

Just because you are saying I will protect my child if the need arises does not mean you're a violent person who should be locked up and carry a record your whole life.

Katie Bowen

I like this...a lot!
Maybe I should use these rules when I become a parent...

Katie Bowen

@BrainyMommy, you are an idiot!

bella... bellacazzate

Brainymommy is not so brainy. Maybe her head is just engorged. 


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