It's a widely accepted fact that teenagers are kind of the worst. For the most part, it's not their fault -- hormones make them crazy bitches do crazy things -- but that doesn't mean we're not allowed to tear our hair out over the stuff our teens try to pull.
While every stage in a child's life comes with its own special mix of joys and sheer horrors, it's the teen years that have the biggest imbalance. You may think that having a teenager is easier than having a toddler, but here's why it's not.
- A 3-year-old can't outsmart you, but a teen can. You used to be able to say "Because I said so," but now that your kids are on their way to becoming adults, they really don't agree with your logic that requires them to be home by midnight.
- Toddlers have meltdowns, but teens have meltdowns. Have you ever been around a 14-year-old when they're informed that the Wi-Fi at home will be down for two or three days? You need an underground safe house just to keep the other members of the family free from harm.
- Toddlers still like hugs. Get too close to your high school freshman and they may call child services. Because they have child services saved in their iPhone to threaten you.
- Toddlers don't steal money. Teens, on the other hand, have slippery fingers that pry open unmanned wallets at home to take cash and credit cards. I mean, I've never heard of a toddler spending $54,000 at a club on Dad's Amex.
- Toddlers may not know how to use the bathroom, but at least they don't hog it. Teens have a tendency to move into the marble and porcelain room, never to be heard from again.
- The highlight of a toddler's day is when you come home. The highlight of a teen's day is when you leave.
- A toddler's dinner conversation skills are lacking, but really, they're better than a teen's, whose one-word answers are infantile at best.
- Helping your toddler to count to 10 is fun and cute. Helping your teen with functions and derivatives is horrifying and impossible.
More from The Stir: 10 Reasons Parents of Teens Need to Stop Whining
Which stage do you prefer parenting: toddlers or teens?
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