Dating Madonna's Daughter Lourdes: A Handy Guide for Guys

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lourdesI'm sure it comes as a surprise to approximately no one that Madonna's 16-year-old daughter Lourdes is officially dating or that "insdiers" describe her as "boy-crazy" (you did catch the "Madonna's daughter" part, right?). Apparently the current object of her affection is : Homeland actor Timothee Chalamet, a classmate of Lourdes' at NYC's legendary La Guardia High School of the Performing Arts. Awww, young love. How short-lived sweet.

I'm not too concerned about "endless flirt" Lourdes getting her heart broken here, but I am a bit concerned about her new beau getting his ... um, "heart" hijacked by a certain Mrs. Robinson-type celeb who just might be there to open her ... um, "arms" in the sort of warm welcome that can scar a kid for life. Just sayin', Maddona has dated more than one man who happened to be literally half her age at the time.

So perhaps Chalamet (and other potential suitors) should keep on the lookout for these unmistakable "Cougar on the Prowl" warning signs:

1. If you go to pick up Lourdes for a date and Madonna opens the door wearing her famous cone bra, run.

2. If, after spending the afternoon cramming for exams with Lourdes, you go home to discover a copy of Madonna's "Sex" book in your backpack with the inscription: Don't forget to study long and hard! XO Madge, burn it immediately.

3. If you get a text message from "Lourdes" asking you to come over asap, don't be surprised if Lourdes isn't even home when you get there -- and instead, "Justify My Love" is playing and random people wearing all black are wandering around the house gyrating.

What sort of advice would you give a guy dating Madonna's daughter?

 

Image via PacificCoastNews

celebrity teens, dating, family

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Kimbyann Kimbyann

I think that's disgusting

LuvMy... LuvMyDandD

This article was a little bit weird. Is this what spins around in your head all day? I found it a little creepy, and I'm no fan of Madonna at all but I doubt she is molesting highschoolers.


On a lighter note, Lourdes is beautiful but  this article made me feel old because I remember when she was a cute little toddler.

nonmember avatar guest

Really? I need to stop coming to this site. I think I am losing brain cells.

Lobelle Lobelle

My 6 year old can write more concise articles- With better spelling!

slwinner slwinner

You have spell check for comments but not for the article?

tuffy... tuffymama

Madonna is a slut and an asshole and talks out of turn quite often, but she really seems to love and respect her kids for the most part. Why would you pull this shit out of your ass and fling it at the rest of us? How damaging to put such cruel and irrational hate out into the world! How would you have liked to read this about YOUR mom? This is The Stir, which loudly proclaims "NO SLUT SHAMING ALLOWED," yet you barf this up and spread it all around??? Go away.

nonmember avatar Ishita

So much woman-hating? WHY?
Do you met out similar disparaging remarks for George Clooney and hordes of other men who are basically doing the same thing?

And seriously, equating someone who is comfortable in their sexuality to a molestor is just low. Dafuq

nonmember avatar Rose

Terrible. I am dumber for having read this "article."

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