Letting Your Daughter Wear Lingerie Won't Turn Her Into a Hooker

Mom Moment 14

lingerieAll right moms, it's time for a tough question. Say you have a teenage daughter and she wants to shop at Victoria's Secret. What do you do?

Stick your fingers in your ears and sing "na, na, nuh, na, na" and pretend your girl isn't growing up? Or do you suck it up and drive her to the mall? Maybe this will help you make up your mind.

Most moms are all about letting their daughters trade up from those multi-packs of undies from Tar-jay to something one might call lingerie. As one mother in CafeMom's Mom's With Teens group put it:

Fredrick's - no

Victoria's Secret stuff is most[ly] classy elegant stuff. I see no issue!

Hallelujah, amen! Moms with a little common sense! In a nation where parents are such prudes that they can't deal with a teacher who did some porn way back in the day teaching their kids, you never know what parents are going to come up with next.

I know I don't like the thought of my daughter shopping at Victoria's Secret. If she's looking to buy a pair of string bikini undies, that means she's bid bye-bye to the Hello Kitty and Littlest Pet Shop underwear of childhood. I do not want to see the end of childhood, but that's my problem.

Letting your daughter shop for lingerie isn't going to turn her into a raging slut overnight or make you a Grandma. Not teaching her to respect her body or educating her about sex will do that. Letting her get some more fashionable underwear, on the other hand, could help her feel more comfortable about herself (seriously, didn't it feel better to YOU when you got rid of the granny panties?)!

So now it's your turn.

Would you let your daughter wear lingerie?


Image via verypurpleperson/Flickr

issues, tough topics


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

nonmember avatar Ashley

There's a huge difference in lingerie like teddies, garters, etc. and basic bras and panties. So the latter, sure, but former....no.

nonmember avatar Carly

I got am American eagle gift card for Christmas when I was 16. (too expensive to shop there normally) I bought some lacy underwear and 2 years later, they still for and are in good condition. The rest of my underwear is from Walmart, but I half to replace it every other month because it's so cheap. Sometimes the lacy stuff is better lol

nonmember avatar Carly


nonmember avatar Christina

I remember being at the mall with my friend in 8th grade and buying our first thongs. I was 13. I was a virgin until my wedding night. Your underwear has no bearing on your promiscuity. I agree with the author- having that dirty little secret did give my self confidence a boost. Plus, I started doing my own laundry so my mom wouldn't see them, so it actually made me more responsible.

handy... handy0318

If I don't let my teen buy from VS, it's only because they're a bit out of our price range.  There's nothing wrong, and a lot that is right, in encouraging our daughters to build healthy self respect by having pretty things.  However, I fail to see the connection between our daughters wearing pretty undies and recognizing that a teacher whose 12-13 year old students can pull up her porn movies is hopelessly compromised in her ability to command respect in her classroom. Prudishness has nothing to do with it... understanding how the minds of 12-13 year old kids work does.

OoOJa... OoOJanisOoO

I remember wanting cute matching bras and panties when I was a teen. It wasn't for any guys to see it was because all my friends had them. It seems weird now but when I was a younger my friends were always getting undressed in front of each other. 

redK8... redK8blueSt8

I do NOT consider underwear to be lingerie.Even with a matching bra, they're more like basic necessities that are pretty. I don't think I'd be too okay getting my daughter a thong, or the ones with suggestive phrases on them.

fleur... fleurdelys3110

Agree with the other commenters. Underwear and bras aren't lingerie. I've been wearing underwear from VS since I was 11 and I started wearing bras from there since I could fit into them at 13 or 14. I still buy all my bras and underwear from there. Granted, they're sexier than the ones I bought when I was a preteen and teen, but VS has lots of stuff for all ages.

nonmember avatar Kristi

If she could make up the price difference between what I would buy her and what she wanted sure.

the4m... the4mutts

Cute bras/panties, sure. Lingere, hell no.

Also, my s/o made me make this promise: the kids will never get non-nessecities before I do. If I want bras/panties just for cuteness, I get them first.

Very rarely do I think of myself first when it comes to material things. He noticed me buying the kids little things here & there, when every shirt I had was stained, and all my socks had holes.

1-10 of 14 comments 12 Last