Teen Girl
Someone is moving into the apartments above and next door to mine, and during the day, there is an infernal symphony of banging, clanging, and knocking around. And still, I can’t imagine that the whirlwind of activity could produce a mess greater than the one that lurks just a few feet down the hallway in Teen Child’s room. Homegirl knows how to trash the joint like a rock star—and at Guinness record pace, too.

I’ll walk by at like 3:30 just before she gets home from school, and a mere half hour later, it’ll look like the aftermath of a megasale in the juniors' department. Clothes everywhere, shoes all over the place, and my jaw hinging to my collarbone in disbelief.

I’ve had to learn how to pick my daily battles, however. I’d drive both of us crazy hollering about the same thing like clockwork. But that doesn’t mean I won’t wring my hands to the teen parenting gods—why oh why can’t she just put the coat on a hanger? and other pleas of mercy—and make them fodder for a blog post. A mama’s gotta vent. 

Garbage
She makes architectural structures out of the garbage instead of, like, taking it out.


She doesn’t feel like putting all of the clean laundry away, so she’ll just toss some of it back in with the dirty stuff. Angelic.


She rides the bandwagon for a food, requests it religiously on the grocery store run, eats it so ravenously I have a hard time keeping it in stock, then without any warning or explanation, abandons it to the back of a cabinet or the fridge. (Seriously, 12 grapes? She couldn’t eat these last 12 grapes?)

Paper towels
She gets close to replacing empty paper towel/toilet paper rolls/tissue boxes ... but not quite.


She leaves a flea’s swig of juice in the bottle, just enough to quench the front part of my tongue.

What does your kid do to drive you crazy around the house?