Missing 13-Year-Old's Disappearance During Visit With Dad Scares Parents With Shared Custody

Heartbreaking 14

Dylan RedwineThe latest missing child case is one sure to strike fear in the hearts of parents who have to share custody of their kids. Thirteen-year-old Dylan Redwine went to his dad's house for a visit right before Thanksgiving on a court order. Sadly, no one has seen the missing Colorado boy since, and every time the cops turn around, their leads are coming up empty. 

Right now, the lack of answers is creating only questions. And none of them look good.

The missing boy, whose parents divorced in 2007, usually lives with mom Elaine Redwine in Colorado Springs, Colorado. But he was at dad Mark Redwine's house on the morning of Monday, November 19, when Mark left to run some errands.

Mark says he returned home and found his son gone. It's been a week, and no one knows where Dylan is. Cadaver dogs later picked up a scent at the edge of a lake near Mark's home, but divers found nothing in the water.

So what do we have here? Two parents who are said to be cooperating with police. A boy who could have run away or been abducted or who knows what. And a nightmare for parents who already struggle with splitting custody.

I am not blaming Mark Redwine for anything here. Leaving a 13-year-old home alone is pretty much standard procedure. 

But if my daughter disappeared under another adult's watch, you better believe I would be mad. The fact that said adult on duty was the boy's father hardly makes up for this; if anything it makes it all that much more complicated. His mom has to stand there knowing that there was nothing she could do for her own child.

If you're in a relationship with your child's parent, you tend to have open communication about how child-related matters are handled. Throw a divorce into the mix, and sadly, all bets are off. Too often I've seen couples where one if not both parents are too busy being angry with one another to get on the same page for their kids. And in these cases, it doesn't necessarily take two to tango. If one parent is being uncooperative, there is often nothing the other parent can do but grin and bear it during court-ordered visitations. You must abide by the court's decisions, even when you know it isn't in the best interests of your child.

My heart is with Elaine Redwine today, knowing that she sent her son off to visit dad and then something happened, something that she obviously had no control over. My heart is with every parent in a custody situation who has to wonder every time they do the switch-off with their child's other parent whether they're going to get care that's "just as good" as they'd normally get over the next few days. And my heart is with Dylan Redwine. I hope the boy is safe, and I hope he comes home soon.

Do you share custody? What do you think of this case?

 

Image via National Center for Missing and Exploited Children

family, missing person, exes, child custody

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the4m... the4mutts

I do share custody, and I trust my ex with my kids life! He would NEVER hurt or neglect them. If they were missing or injured durring his time, I would be doing everything in my power to help him figure out what happened, how to prevent it happening again, working with police, whatever was needed.

Don't make this another topic used to create fear where there typically SHOULDN'T be fear. It makes you look like an idiot.

Histo... HistoryMamaX3

Thank you, mutts. Jeanne loves to create drama where it shouldn't be- she takes a legitimate story and twists it into something absurd for the sake of using her imagination. So sad.


This 'article' is written just to strike unnecessary fear in a divorced parent's heart. Sometimes things happen- it could have happened on the mom's watch. It could have happened at Grandma's house! I'm sad to read such a terrible story, but happy to see that the parents are working together. Working against each other or placing blame at this point in time is a waste of time and creates another issue that shouldn't be during what I know is a terrible and trying time for this family.

ImaSo... ImaSoulMom

You don't think this is valid? Sure it may go against the new age bullshit sense of parenting where we all hold hands and sing songs. Screw that. I don't lose my kids and if my ex did that would make him a bad father. Spme of you seem to have capable exes but that is not always the case.

hello... hellokd87

I agree, SoulMom. What I don't understand is how my fiancee's ex seems to "freak out" if he doesn't respond to her calls or texts within 30 mins when we have the kids. If he had run off with them before, I would understand. If we sent them back dirt or soiled, or bruised/cut I would understand. But they're always in good spirits and better off than when WE got them. How can you act like he's a criminal when he's the total opposite with the kids? Granted they spent the majority of their relationship fighting & screaming with each other (I've heard the same from all sides of the camp) but none of his issues with her has ever been taken out on the boys. The good thing in this case, is that BOTH parents are cooperating. Much like the disappearance of Jessica Ridgeway. the parents were divorced but it seems like they are acting civilized in light of their child disappearing. I'll be praying that this lost boy returns home safe & sound.

nonmember avatar Noinin

I share custody of my 3 years old son with my ex-fiancé and I totally trust him. Our split was not amicable at all, but we still have respect for each other as parents. In the same circumstances, I would concentrate on finding our son instead of putting the blame on someone who must feel destroyed inside. It could have happened with anyone - grandparents, mother, etc.

CAP1015 CAP1015

I'm betting jeanne writes this differently if the boy disapeared while with the mom.  Unless there is something here not shared with media that provides evidence of neglect or negligence on the father, then this is a sad, terrible story, but not a story of joint custody.  i know I'm guilty because I read the Stir and the stories, but come on, it appears that as a "blogger' you have no responsibility to be remotely a journalist and provide any relevant facts, you just write what you "like/feel/believe".  Articles like this make me want to puke!

nonmember avatar Littlefrogs

My soon to be ex is a crazy ((repeatedly locked up against his will crazy) alcoholic who the last time he was left alone with the children (almost three years ago) I came home to find him drunk, crying hysterically on the floor. We are fighting over visitation now in the courts and it is entirely possible that the courts will order me to hand over my young children to him for weekends at a time. But if I hired a babysitter with his mental health history and alcohol abuse history to watch my children, I'm sure I could face neglect charges.

ImaSo... ImaSoulMom

Same here, littlefrogs. My ex was in a mental health hospital for months after we divorced. I am hoping my kids safety is put first. Some of us literally have to hand our kids over to crazy people.

nonmember avatar Lucy

Wow- what a biased article.

Karin... KarinJune

My daughter and her ex split custody, with him getting primary custody with everyone's approval. I felt he was a great dad until he cut my grandaughter's hair "so it looks just like her mommy's". His words. Now I am creeped out and wondering if he can truly be trusted.  

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